Back in the 'forties and 'fifties, people regarded conversations as art forms, and sought to connect — They listened carefully; you can see this in old movies — No matter what was being said, they found artful ways to coax humorous or wry human experience from it. With a twinkle in their eye (and no TV!) they aimed to pass wit and humor to a kind stranger, and especially to their next of kin. Tonic, they used to call it. It's an old-fashioned art. (–Source: taxi1010.com stargate53)

"Hello, Mr. Big!"
—Or worse!
—Pecos Bill!

"How do you know if someone is flirting with you?"
—Or worse!
—Between the Devil and the deep blue sea.

"Mr. Original."
—Or worse!
—There's no doubt about it.

"Homo! Homo!" [From a five-year-old boy]
—Or worse!
—There's a lot of people like that ... I see it on the news ... They're tough! ... Oh, don't give me that filthy stuff! ... The ones nobody wants ... Go play!

"$&@%# right!"
—Or worse!
—Not even the priests can get away with shit anymore.

"Mr. Richard!"
—Or worse!
—What were we saying?

"So you have a web page." [Implying, "So what?"]
—Or worse!
—Do I know what I'm not doing?

["Would you like a card for my website?"] "No thanks! – You've got a blog?"
—Or worse!
—They all look the same.

"Ha, ha, ha! Are you blogging on that?"
—Or worse!
—Some kind, huh? The smasher!

"Any idiot with a laptop can post his ramblings. In my opinion it's so much nonsense, and there's no editor."
—Or worse!
—It's my dream, and I can change it if I want to!

"The democratizing influence of the Internet is working to banish expertise altogether, making everyone an authority on everything." (–Michiko Kakutani, reviewing "The Age of American Unreason," by Susan Jacoby, The New York Times, March 11, 2008)
—Or worse!
—Yeah, why don't they stay in high school? ... Would you like some smut? ... It's getting harder and harder ... What's next is the missionary position ... These paintings talk to you!

"A person always wants to improve themselves."
—Or worse!
—Dog is my copilot.

"This is not a public library."
—Or worse!
—Hitler is dead, how's that?

"I find that offensive."
—Or worse!
—Where I come from, and I said that, no one would bat an eye.