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The freezer!

 
 

35. Barroom Floor

 
 
 

(—Et sui culpae! Latin: "And it's our fault!") An early issue of MAD Magazine had a joke in the margin: "Does your nose run, and your feet smell?" it asked. "Maybe you're built upside down." A child understands upside down. "Turn everything upside down and you'll see the truth," the Sufis say. To make things easy, the first thing a person has to do is to stop making things difficult! To like yourself, the first thing you have to do is to stop not liking yourself! To give yourself a nice life, the first thing you have to do is to stop giving yourself shit! (–Source: taxi1010.com stargate01)

 

"Do you want to say hello to Richard? – He wants someone to say hello to him, to acknowledge his existence."
The freezer!
—Do you call it the invisible bathroom? – Get on it!

 

"You're the best argument I know for mercy killing."
The freezer!
—Toilet training special – Do your duty!

 

"I become so simple everything can mystify me while nothing can comprehend me." [Link]
The freezer!
—The whole trick is, be nice to people, and you'll get rid of all the meanies ... Of course, I was very young.

 

"You're wrong."
The freezer!
—Most people cave in at a very early age – They just do not want to be different.

 

"There is no such thing as a double positive."
The freezer!
—Yeah, yeah.

 

"What's the opposite of 'false pretenses?'"
The freezer!
—'Arabs think!' – They believe anything that anyone tells them – They're going to take over the world three ways: money, culture, and lying – There's no place sacred – Must have been a tribe – Next time come down the chimney.

 

"Your perceptions are incorrect."
The freezer!
—One at a time.

 

"Don't you think maybe you're going overboard?"
The freezer!
—If a man speaks in the forest, and his wife isn't there, is he still wrong?

 

"I think our buyer is getting steps away from finding us."
The freezer!
—It's like laying bricks.

 

"Don't be a jerk."
The freezer!
—Don't worry about it! Take a powder!

 

"You're better than me?"
The freezer!
—Keep that in the back of your mind.

 
 

 

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