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Before what?

 
 

44. Trendy Put-downs

 
 
 

Because people have unconscious Delusions of Grandeur, they frequently overstate their case, using exaggeration, deep-seated rage — like Homer Simpson with a cruel streak — twisted "playfulness" and sarcasm. It's nice to have something to say back — "Before what?"if just as a friendly gesture. (–Source: taxi1010.com stargate05)

 

"You guys always have some slick answer."
—Before what?
—If you put your finger on it, it's soup.

 

"Some problems don't have solutions."
—Before what?
Don't read anything ... The Secrets of the Dead ... Each independently?

 

"Some explanations are pointless."
—Before what?
—People know, who are in those circles.

 

"Because of all the Blacks voting in Vermont." [Sarcastically]
—Before what?
—They'll clear it up sooner or later.

 

"Clueless! Get a clue."
—Before what?
—Every ball of string unravels.

 

"Are you gay?" [From your mother, who's trying to "out" you before she dies]
—Before what?
—That's strange, coming from you ... There's very good old movies ... A totally different person ... As a matter of honor ... I know you don't like it, but that's it.

 

"Tell me the truth – Are you gay?"
—Before what?
Craving power ... That's no good ... Everyone else is anyway ... There's something better ... Don't give me a hard time! ... Don't ask questions! ... I only tell really special people ... Paul Bern was a fairy ... Just charming! ... He died before I was born ... Put up or shut up! ... You have to let someone else take care of the baby ... It's too hard ... If you want to do it, you can ... I'm not missing anything except death ... Everyone thinks they're entitled ... Before anything!

 

"Silence is betrayal."
—Before what?
—Take that and run with it!

 

"Can't take the heat."
—Before what?
—He wants that Soylent Green, man!

 

"Are you really that insecure?"
—Before what?
I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you kill me? ... I don't think it's such a hot thing to be.

 

"I'm waiting to see what my next medical problem will be."
—Before what?
—Don't hurt yourself.

 

"You're probably the kind of person who would espouse partial-birth abortion as a form of birth control."
—Before what?
Good God! – That's creative.

 

"Enjoy those nuts!" [They taste terrible! – The bag reads, "Best by 2006 FEB," a year earlier]
—Before what?
—"I wonder what it's like to have squirrels living in your skull." (–Dilbert)

 

"The only reason to buy a Prius is so you can drive around like a smug eco-holier-than-thou."
—Before what?
—Just like a cat ... Now, what color is your light? ... Are you a bird or a person?

 

"When is Broadway going to recognize my incredible dancing skills?"
—Before what?
—A giant mouse.

 

"I think those women have very low self-esteem and the men who read them are degenerate." [Playboys]
—Before what?
—Maybe they'll retire.

 

"She's a real slut! The first guy was fucking her in the pussy; the second guy was fucking her in the ass; just before I broke up with her, she was down at the bottom of my bed licking my asshole; the next guy should think about that before they kiss her!"
—Before what?
—One more thing you have to worry about ... You go from rags to riches! ... Next time you call her, tell her to shit in her cunt and eat it! ... Don't forget your roots ... You got roots, too! ... Excuse me everyone, I have to leave now ... If you don't want to learn anything.

 

"Jane, you ignorant slut!"
—Before what?
—Peanuts.

 

"Do you wear a kilt?"
—Before what?
—It's very authentic.

 

"How literal."
—Before what?
—See yourself as an entire picture.

 

"Ooo, something for Vogue! – Wearing flip-flops at the airport – You're styled out!"
—Before what?
—What others only dream of.

 

"Little Italy's not too big – It's a small area, right?"
—Before what?
—Where all the good restaurants are.

 

"Old habits die hard."
—Before what?
—Everything but religion.

 

"Well, that's a safe bet."
—Before what?
—Jesus polished Elijah Muhammad's shoes.

 

"I've been looking around that site, and can't understand it for a second. Maybe I'm just a dummy, but seriously, it's making no sense."
—Before what?
—Allow your deeper parts to see the light of day.

 

"So you have your whole life in a safe deposit box."
—Before what?
—Everybody has something to conceal.

 

"Aren't you a little old to be here?"
—Before what?
—They have a never-ending cage of tests.

 

"So here we are, alone at last."
—Before what?
—Some things aren't like that.

 
 

 

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