Theory of
taxi1010.com

Taunts, Insults or Attacks

Codewords Inside Aggressive "Tricks"

"Wings" to Fly
Back to Yourself

Backup
"Ideas"

Six Choices

Essays | Art

Street Smarts

Presskit | Publicity

Feedback

Periscope

Site Map

Kids' Pages

Milestones

The Way Out

 

CLINIC

PATIENT

DIAGNOSTIC

Patient refers to it as stargate-two-oh

A Curmudgeon.4

Sadism.1

 

TOOLSET

INFORMAL FALLACY

 

BELIEVE me. 

—Have faith!

—Happy feet!

Doesn't matter.

Moxie's

Disease

 

Argumentum ad Verecundiam —
(Appeal to Reverence)
An argument using venerable authority to produce an illusion of proof, so that its answer risks a breach of propriety - There's always going to be nincompoops - They talk a good game - They have no sense of truth.

 

NOTES TO MYSELF

PSYCHOLOGICAL AGE

CLASS

[weather & untamed spontaneity] - When you deal with the lower echelons of life, you're going to get a lot of shit - That's why they're in the lower echelons - They're trying to create magnanimous impressions without any regard for conforming to reality - They're just trying to feel secure - They can't see anybody - Their tribe is so talentless, it's amazing - They're "no-nonsense" people: No-nonsense ugly, no-nonsense tricky, and no-nonsense hollow - They ask loaded questions and make pointed comments - Life is just what they can get, because they have nothing inside them - They learned from one of their parents how to unpack colorful garments from a bag of tricks, trying to find one that works - Because they don't think, their magnanimous gestures generate misleading inferences which quickly collapse into false pretenses, leaving you angry and bewildered until you realize they're simply imitating the hollow niceties of one of their parents - You get the impression they "just drank coffee, ate salad and didn't pay for it," whereas you ate nothing and the proprietor is giving you the bill - When a friend betrays you, even innocently, you feel close to tears - You feel duped on the outside, shocked & betrayed on the inside - You feel bad because you think you're worse than anyone else - Stop trying to get other people to be more important than you are.

The Age of Attention, ages 4-7

Murder

 

 
 
 
 
 

Exactly what someone said [or did]
... usually not very original.

The thoughts of a "bad child"
... to free your mind again.

TRICKS

WINGS

IDEAS

[interruption]

—Have faith!

—Life could be worse, right?

"Street smarts – Give me a concrete example of that."

—Have faith!

—The sidewalk – but on which square of cement?

"How come it's not interactive?"

Doesn't matter.

—When Santa gives me a box of shit, I punch it!

"Knock 'em dead!"

—Happy feet!

—It's better than running an elevator – Just realize, you don't have to.

"Guys driving Corvettes are just saying they have big dicks." :: WildCard-10

—Happy feet!

—They'll love that, right? ... Very pleased.

"Hey, 1010! 1010!" [From a sadistic cab driver]

Doesn't matter.

Who cares? ... Who cares? ... I don't want to be intelligent! ... WHO CARES? ... So sad! ... Nobody cares ... Nobody wants to tell you ... Nobody even wants to talk to you ... You're confused ... Deeply concerned ... So cheap! ... That's you! ... Really punishing ... So WHAT? ... Infinitely sad! ... Really perplexed ... Crossed wires ... On score, offshore!

"1010, huh?"

—Happy feet!

—There's limits, right?

"What was the weather like this weekend?"

—BELIEVE me.

—Raincoat weather – It's going to be cold tonight – No cloud cover.

"What's the weather been like the last three weeks?"

—BELIEVE me.

—They're always wrong – The weather's always wrong.

"Did it rain over the weekend?"

Doesn't matter.

—Everything that happens, it's better.

"Is it going to rain today?"

—BELIEVE me.

—No one really knows.

"Is it going to rain next month?"

—Have faith!

—It's better ... Unsettled ... I wouldn't call it rain ... A few drips isn't gonna hurt ... Way before the rain comes ... Can't kill you ... They never know ... We'll see ... Don't think it won't rain again ... You can't stay angry; you can't change the weather; you can't go back and get something you never had.

"How long is this rain supposed to last?"

Doesn't matter.

—This is just the beginning.

"It's just like San Francisco – too much rain!"

Doesn't matter.

—It's very hard to take.

"It stopped raining."

Doesn't matter.

—Tomorrow it'll snow.

"Great weather!"

—Happy feet!

—Prosperity is just around the corner.

"What's the weather been like?"

—BELIEVE me.

—I don't really think it means too much. Today is not as bad as yesterday. Tomorrow's going to be even nicer. It's going to get a lot worse, but who cares?

"How often is the weather like this?"

—BELIEVE me.

—It's hard to say.

"What's the weather been?"

—BELIEVE me.

—Same thing!

"What's the weather going to be?"

—BELIEVE me.

—As my friend Peter Coors says, "It doesn't count!"

"What's happening with the weather?"

—Happy feet!

—Beautiful day today ... I don't know how it happened, but we had a beautiful day ... Well, phantom rains – It probably won't reach you ... Let's see, the sun shined, a few clouds went by, the tide went out ... The wet weather is wicked, huh? ... They have little rain cells ... Whatever they say, it's the opposite ... They're always wrong ... Have you ever seen it rain on one side of the street while the other side remains totally dry? ... It's better when it's warm than when it's cold ... It's better ... Unsettled ... They never know ... We'll see ... Big tragedy ... No shit! ... It's hot today, isn't it? ... But that's what gave birth to the blues!

«Verbal comebacks for teachers»

—BELIEVE me.

—The younger generation ... on the way up! ... Most people don't get it ... And if you're not careful, you'll start smoking, if you don't control your appetite!

"You're big on children, right?"

—Have faith!

—Donald Duck's sister – What a wit! – That's all I know.

«Good verbal comebacks for a 14 year old»

—BELIEVE me.

—What would Scooby Doo? ... Something mysterious ... There's a bunch of creeps!

["I've been waiting like half an hour."] "Really? That's too bad." [Crisp, cruel]

Doesn't matter.

—A hard handshake.

"Are you still doing your exercising? ... your martial arts?"

Doesn't matter.

Do nothing ... and thy shall be done unto.

"Here you go, dear – Appreciate it." [Paying for a taxi ride]

Doesn't matter.

—It's a stitch – Far from me!

"I work all night, and when your children skate on the sidewalk at 3:30 in the afternoon, it wakes me up."

—Happy feet!

—I talked to the kids, and they told me you scared them! – the lady with a pointy hat on a bicycle with a basket, pedaling furiously down the road.

"Do you like children?" [From a child]

—BELIEVE me.

—With no obligations whatsoever.

«Self defense for little girls»

—BELIEVE me.

Happy feet, happy person! ... Friends do not have to be glued together ... People can be good for just so much, and then they're bad! ... See you! ... If we had time.

"Music teachers in schools should show this to the kids!"

—Happy feet!

—Big news.

"I thought you did Yoga or something."

—BELIEVE me.

—Drool a little ... Just once ... You don't know what was done to someone ... If you want to be crude ... Labor intensive ... There should be something I like.

"Lytle ought to play it on big plasmas in dance clubs!" [Animusic]

—Have faith!

—Pretty special.

"He should sell it to Pixar!"

—BELIEVE me.

—To live once, and for real.

"What are you doing this afternoon?"

Doesn't matter.

—Getting people off ... Criminal lawyer ... Out of jail ... If something is beyond your scope a little, it's interesting ... I decline your offer ... Separate expectations from understanding ... It's no joke ... It's just not the same ... What am I going to do, things I hate? ... You can do what you like.

"When are you having children?"

—Happy feet!

—I would think of it as a great blessing.

"Look out for number one, right?"

Doesn't matter.

—And quite a few other people.

"So you don't mind what you do?"

—BELIEVE me.

—I do it in different ways.

"Get to the point already – That site was crap [taxi1010.com] – He/she just droned on and on, never getting to the point." [Link from linuxarticles.com]

Doesn't matter.

—It's an assortment, and then there's a table – One at a time.

"That's the point, isn't it?"

—Have faith!

—Who feels cheated? – You see another way of life – It's very intricate, you know?

"What's the target age group?"

—BELIEVE me.

—It's universal.

"I'm going to make a sales call in Las Vegas – I hear they've got some pussy there."

—Have faith!

—I can see the fire – There's a fire in there.

"I guess this is a man's job, huh?"

—Have faith!

—I'm going to get another one, right?

"Why don't you just wear a dress to work? You'd sure look cute in one – HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

—Happy feet!

—Well, it's better than cutting off your thumbs.

"You're not a big guy out here, now, are you?"

—BELIEVE me.

—What are you getting out of all this?

"Protect yourself."

—BELIEVE me.

—It adds up.

"All right, you gotta look out for yourself."

—BELIEVE me.

—Always say, No, you go first!

"So how many times have you been up here?" [Visiting San Francisco]

—Happy feet!

—One down, three to go.

"How many do you need?" [Abrupt questioning from a salesperson]

—Happy feet!

—Look at that!

"That has arsenic in it." [Your bottle of water]

Doesn't matter.

—You must have run over a dog today – Pull your own ears.

"Has it been this way?"

—BELIEVE me.

—Not every day.

"He has his reasons."

Doesn't matter.

—Oh, it's like a smell.

"Get your ass out of City College – Maybe you can get into a better university."

Doesn't matter.

—The rich kid who loses all his money.

"Like I told you before, you're on your own now."

—Happy feet!

—Sometimes they need help.

"Everything has to be difficult."

—BELIEVE me.

—It's solid.

"Are you through with how many years of law school now?"

—Happy feet!

—I remain the lead.

"I have so many of these!"

—Happy feet!

—It's not just that.

"It's a free country but you have to pay for it."

—BELIEVE me.

—They've invented something called the mainstream, and anybody who isn't mainstream is a total idiot.

["I've never been to Phoenix."] "You've never been to Phoenix?"

—BELIEVE me.

—That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

"I won five hundred dollars in Las Vegas, and they gave me a penthouse suite."

—Have faith!

—And where were you?

"It was a lot of fun!"

—Happy feet!

—Well, of course you are.

"Do you use it a lot?" [Non-escalating Verbal Self-Defense]

—BELIEVE me.

—It just becomes apparent in a strange way.

"I bet you get a lot of opportunity to use these skills."

—BELIEVE me.

—My true talents.

"You must get a lot of that in this business."

—BELIEVE me.

—It's the monkey in us.

["I lied."] "You do that a lot, don't you?"

Doesn't matter.

—That's just for smart people or for fancy people.

"Is that your natural hair color?"

—BELIEVE me.

—It's a lot of money, but ...

"Your hair looks grey."

—Happy feet!

—There's nothing wrong with that.

"Your hair is dry and brittle and old."

—Happy feet!

—I'm from another tribe.

"So, what's your point?"

—BELIEVE me.

—Hopefully there is no point – There's just a nice comfortable chair.

"What's the point?"

—Happy feet!

—Inside the circle or outside the circle?

"Was there any point in you saying that?"

Doesn't matter.

—Not in my family!

"Oh, dear!"

—Happy feet!

—Try everything!

"I'm just going to slide my big bouté out this way."

Doesn't matter.

—I'm good even when I don't control myself.

"And you people are supposed to be sensitive and sharp?"

—Happy feet!

—You ass sniffer!

"Do you come here often?"

—Have faith!

—Very warm, generous people.

"What kind of lettuce do you like?" [from a beautiful woman]

—Happy feet!

—Romaine, butter, and let us leaf the lights on.

"Why is ice so cold?"

—Happy feet!

—Are you cold?

"That's one possibility."

—BELIEVE me.

—One's enough.

"Yeah, but I got to pay more for my computer than you did."

—Have faith!

—Anyone does.

"Take my word for it."

—Happy feet!

—Well, keep trying!

"Now this guy's too good for us."

—Have faith!

—It's a tenuous life at best.

"Good for her!"

—Happy feet!

—Not too bad.

"Good for you!" [Condescendingly]

Doesn't matter.

—What's good for me?

"Whatever works for you."

—Happy feet!

—Just pick a card; what difference does it make?

"Well, good for you!"

—Have faith!

—It's good for anyone.

"That'll be good for you!"

—BELIEVE me.

—Totally ridiculous.

"That's good for you!"

—Happy feet!

—Don't chug out too many credits.

"Why not? She will be glad to go out with you ... Furthermore, you don't have to worry that you will overspend. This girl doesn't go for money. She goes for person."

—Happy feet!

[See Icarus and the Gutter Snipe]

"It got too tough for you."

Doesn't matter.

—I must be good for something.

"How much you pay for this car?"

—Happy feet!

—You get a good deal on this one.

"Are you guys for real?"

—Have faith!

—Every question is asked, and every question is answered.

"Do you find it works for you?"

—Have faith!

—I'm very good at sneaking stuff into garbage cans.

"I don't know if we should sit here – She has really big hair." [People arriving in an almost empty theater, sitting down right behind you]

—Happy feet!

—Wait until it starts growing.

"It was so predictable." [As the credits begin to roll, a high-maintenance Brahmin, not too bright, in the row behind you, flipping on her cell phone & critiquing the movie you just saw.]

Doesn't matter.

—You're so smart ... You have to practice in front of a mirror when you get home.

"I'm sorry I woke you up."

Doesn't matter.

—We're just in the same warp.

"Today's your special day!"

—Happy feet!

—All different.

"You are a special friend."

—Happy feet!

—That's the way people are – It's easier.

"How many tickets?"

—BELIEVE me.

—Just look around.

"Are you by yourself?"

—Happy feet!

—Only me.

"Did you do this all by yourself?"

—Happy feet!

—Ask around.

"Come on in and try not to ruin everything by being you!"

Doesn't matter.

—Infinitely big.

["My favorite is PayMyBills.com – Do you have a favorite service on the Internet?"] "Not really."

Doesn't matter.

—I've been there.

"Really? I don't believe you."

—Happy feet!

—That's good, because it shows it's different.

"Really?"

—BELIEVE me.

—Just ask.

"I'm going to do some errands."

Doesn't matter.

—What do you want to be in reality for?

"Mary, you know that's total bullshit – It really makes me mad."

Doesn't matter.

—Enough is enough.

"Is that so?"

—Have faith!

—Take it from the voice of experience – Living dangerously – Spooky, huh?

"I'm so happy!"

—Have faith!

—This is more fun than anyone's had in a long time.

"Cheer up, Richard!"

—BELIEVE me.

—Can't resist.

"Dogs bark – If I didn't like dogs, I'd try to get them not to do those things they do naturally."

Doesn't matter.

—The Wilderness Philosopher.

"None of us on this committee knows what's going on."

Doesn't matter.

—Thanks for warning me.

"Well, that's easy for you to say – Your mom died and left you a million."

Doesn't matter.

—Some people like it, and some people don't.

"What are you waiting for?"

—BELIEVE me.

She's not known in this world ...

"Come on! What are you waiting for?"

—Happy feet!

—Some people are nice.

"Remember, only one person can win, so please give a big round of applause to our third runner-up (It's you, honey!)"

Doesn't matter.

—Not everyone.

"Still working a lot?"

—BELIEVE me.

—Customers come first.

"Are you still here?"

Doesn't matter.

—Even at midnight.

[Street toughs looking for a rabbit to come along]

—Happy feet!

—He would have bored another hole, but he sold the machine.

"Jackass! Fucking blockhead!"

Doesn't matter.

—Don't say that too loud – You might start a stampede.

"Well, if you say so."

—BELIEVE me.

—It's like Boom! – You just say it.

"Okay, if you say so."

—Have faith!

—I assure you.

"You're fine – Just checking – To be sure."

—BELIEVE me.

—It's endless.

"Make sure you see some things." [On your trip]

—Have faith!

—It helps people.

["How are you doing?" "Fine."] "Fine? Are you sure?"

Doesn't matter.

—Do we understand each other then?

["I'm not going to the Prom."] "Sure you are, honey!"

—BELIEVE me.

—I know you like telling other people what to do.

"Are you sure I can't bring you more coffee?"

—BELIEVE me.

—Just forget it – Don't worry about anything.

"It's been wonderful and crazy knowing you!"

—BELIEVE me.

—Yo, heave, ho! For a life in the sea!

"NOW!"

—BELIEVE me.

—Very intelligent, huh?

"Now, now!"

—Happy feet!

—That is the biggest lesson.

"Are you happy now?"

—Have faith!

—I feel I'm going to sing, I'm glad I'm not alive anymore.

"I don't think so."

Doesn't matter.

—Perhaps the whole world is a woman who will always say her butcher block is the wrong color.

"Now you know too much."

Doesn't matter.

—Remember that because I may forget.

"Now you know."

—Happy feet!

—It just disappears.

"Now what?"

—Happy feet!

—It almost makes me want to go to Sunday School.

"I'd like to leave you with one thought, but I'm not sure you have a place to put it!"

Doesn't matter.

—Put it on the Internet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

REFLECTIONS

 
 
 
 
 

22-MAY-1999. One of the first characters I bumped into in the first grade was a friend of my mother's I called the "Really?" Monster. I'd walk up to her and say something like, "There must be some way to calculate the day of the week in your head," and she'd say, "Really?"

"Well, if there were, then you could do it in reverse. You could figure out the day of the month simply by knowing the day of the week and about what week it was." "Is that so?"

By this time I knew full well she didn't care in the slightest what interested me or what I thought was important, and she didn't even have the guts to admit it. She just kept making polite noises, giving me the distinct impression she had never talked to a child before in her life. "Really?"

—BELIEVE me.

I know that sounds forceful, but what kind of conversation was she having with me? Just because the other person sounds polite doesn't mean they're actually talking to you. You get the idea they're talking to a phantom — from the ghost of something they lost or forgot in their childhood.


14-JUN-2002.

   

Spin Sarcasm

   

Spin sarcasm reverses a truth
outside your current frame of reference,
in effect, "throwing you for a spin."

For instance, "Your computer's
really holding up well in this tornado!"

To regain your balance,
sense of calm, and well-being,
expand your perspective to encompass
the hypersphere of the Entire Universe.

Then zero back in on the other person.

Look up from what you're doing
and say,
"—Happy feet!"


     
     
 

(1.) Descriptive
Sarcasm

     
 

(2.) Proscriptive
Sarcasm

 

(3.) Spin Sarcasm

     
     
 

(4.) Transcendental
Sarcasm

     

 


19-APR-2014.

 

Thick
of
It

ShortCuts

Top
of
Page

 

As follows

CODE WORDS: 14, 1010, afternoon, arsenic, began, blockhead, bouté, by, case, cheer, children, concrete, Corvettes, [critiquing], dear, 'em, employee, errands, for, furthermore, [gambit], gave, hair, has, interactive, [interruption], knowing, Las Vegas, lettuce, lot, man's, many, micromachine, naturally, none, now, often, Phoenix, Pixar, plasmas, point, possibility, potentially, predictable, pressure, protect, [rabbit], rain, raining, really, runner-up, [sadistic], sharp, so, special, still, sure, target, teachers, tornado, total, university, weather, woke, Yoga

 

XX
Cepheus
"King"

—Happy feet!