[interruption]

—Life could be worse, right?

"Street smarts – Give me a concrete example of that."

—The sidewalk – but on which square of cement?

"How come it's not interactive?"

—When Santa gives me a box of shit, I punch it!

"Knock 'em dead!"

—It's better than running an elevator – Just realize, you don't have to.

"Guys driving Corvettes are just saying they have big dicks." :: WildCard-10

—They'll love that, right? ... Very pleased.

"Hey, 1010! 1010!" [From a sadistic cab driver]

—Who cares? ... Who cares? ... I don't want to be intelligent! ... WHO CARES? ... So sad! ... Nobody cares ... Nobody wants to tell you ... Nobody even wants to talk to you ... You're confused ... Deeply concerned ... So cheap! ... That's you! ... Really punishing ... So WHAT? ... Infinitely sad! ... Really perplexed ... Crossed wires ... On score, offshore!

"1010, huh?"

—There's limits, right?

"What was the weather like this weekend?"

—Raincoat weather – It's going to be cold tonight – No cloud cover.

"What's the weather been like the last three weeks?"

—They're always wrong – The weather's always wrong.

"Did it rain over the weekend?"

—Everything that happens, it's better.

"Is it going to rain today?"

—No one really knows.

"Is it going to rain next month?"

—It's better ... Unsettled ... I wouldn't call it rain ... A few drips isn't gonna hurt ... Way before the rain comes ... Can't kill you ... They never know ... We'll see ... Don't think it won't rain again ... You can't stay angry; you can't change the weather; you can't go back and get something you never had.

"How long is this rain supposed to last?"

—This is just the beginning.

"It's just like San Francisco – too much rain!"

—It's very hard to take.

"It stopped raining."

—Tomorrow it'll snow.

"Great weather!"

—Prosperity is just around the corner.

"What's the weather been like?"

—I don't really think it means too much. Today is not as bad as yesterday. Tomorrow's going to be even nicer. It's going to get a lot worse, but who cares?

"How often is the weather like this?"

—It's hard to say.

"What's the weather been?"

—Same thing!

"What's the weather going to be?"

—As my friend Peter Coors says, "It doesn't count!"

"What's happening with the weather?"

—Beautiful day today ... I don't know how it happened, but we had a beautiful day ... Well, phantom rains – It probably won't reach you ... Let's see, the sun shined, a few clouds went by, the tide went out ... The wet weather is wicked, huh? ... They have little rain cells ... Whatever they say, it's the opposite ... They're always wrong ... Have you ever seen it rain on one side of the street while the other side remains totally dry? ... It's better when it's warm than when it's cold ... It's better ... Unsettled ... They never know ... We'll see ... Big tragedy ... No shit! ... It's hot today, isn't it? ... But that's what gave birth to the blues!

«Verbal comebacks for teachers»

—The younger generation ... on the way up! ... Most people don't get it ... And if you're not careful, you'll start smoking, if you don't control your appetite!

"You're big on children, right?"

—Donald Duck's sister – What a wit! – That's all I know.

«Good verbal comebacks for a 14 year old»

—What would Scooby Doo? ... Something mysterious ... There's a bunch of creeps!

["I've been waiting like half an hour."] "Really? That's too bad." [Crisp, cruel]

—A hard handshake.

"Are you still doing your exercising? ... your martial arts?"

—Do nothing ... and thy shall be done unto.

"I work all night, and when your children skate on the sidewalk at 3:30 in the afternoon, it wakes me up."

—I talked to the kids, and they told me you scared them! – the lady with a pointy hat on a bicycle with a basket, pedaling furiously down the road.

"Do you like children?" [From a child]

—With no obligations whatsoever.

«Self defense for little girls»

—Happy feet, happy person! ... Friends do not have to be glued together ... People can be good for just so much, and then they're bad! ... See you! ... If we had time.

"Music teachers in schools should show this to the kids!"

—Big news.

"I thought you did Yoga or something."

—Drool a little ... Just once ... You don't know what was done to someone ... If you want to be crude ... Labor intensive ... There should be something I like.

"Lytle ought to play it on big plasmas in dance clubs!" [Animusic]

—Pretty special.

"He should sell it to Pixar!"

—To live once, and for real.

"What are you doing this afternoon?"

—Getting people off ... Criminal lawyer ... Out of jail ... If something is beyond your scope a little, it's interesting ... I decline your offer ... Separate expectations from understanding ... It's no joke ... It's just not the same ... What am I going to do, things I hate? ... You can do what you like.

"When are you having children?"

—I would think of it as a great blessing.

"Look out for number one, right?"

—And quite a few other people.

"So you don't mind what you do?"

—I do it in different ways.

"Get to the point already – That site was crap [taxi1010.com] – He/she just droned on and on, never getting to the point." [Link from linuxarticles.com]

—It's an assortment, and then there's a table – One at a time.

"That's the point, isn't it?"

—Who feels cheated? – You see another way of life – It's very intricate, you know?

"What's the target age group?"

—It's universal.

"I'm going to make a sales call in Las Vegas – I hear they've got some pussy there."

—I can see the fire – There's a fire in there.

"I guess this is a man's job, huh?"

—I'm going to get another one, right?

"Why don't you just wear a dress to work? You'd sure look cute in one – HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

—Well, it's better than cutting off your thumbs.

"You're not a big guy out here, now, are you?"

—What are you getting out of all this?

"Protect yourself."

—It adds up.

"All right, you gotta look out for yourself."

—Always say, No, you go first!

"So how many times have you been up here?" [Visiting San Francisco]

—One down, three to go.

"How many do you need?" [Abrupt questioning from a salesperson]

—Look at that!

"That has arsenic in it." [Your bottle of water]

—You must have run over a dog today – Pull your own ears.

"Has it been this way?"

—Not every day.

"He has his reasons."

—Oh, it's like a smell.

"Get your ass out of City College – Maybe you can get into a better university."

—The rich kid who loses all his money.

"Like I told you before, you're on your own now."

—Sometimes they need help.

"Everything has to be difficult."

—It's solid.

"Are you through with how many years of law school now?"

—I remain the lead.

"I have so many of these!"

—It's not just that.

"It's a free country but you have to pay for it."

—They've invented something called the mainstream, and anybody who isn't mainstream is a total idiot.

["I've never been to Phoenix."] "You've never been to Phoenix?"

—That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

"I won five hundred dollars in Las Vegas, and they gave me a penthouse suite."

—And where were you?

"It was a lot of fun!"

—Well, of course you are.

"Do you use it a lot?" [Non-escalating Verbal Self-Defense]

—It just becomes apparent in a strange way.

"I bet you get a lot of opportunity to use these skills."

—My true talents.

"You must get a lot of that in this business."

—It's the monkey in us.

["I lied."] "You do that a lot, don't you?"

—That's just for smart people or for fancy people.

"Is that your natural hair color?"

—It's a lot of money, but ...

"Your hair looks grey."

—There's nothing wrong with that.

"Your hair is dry and brittle and old."

—I'm from another tribe.

"So, what's your point?"

—Hopefully there is no point – There's just a nice comfortable chair.

"What's the point?"

—Inside the circle or outside the circle?

"Was there any point in you saying that?"

—Not in my family!

"I'm just going to slide my big bouté out this way."

—I'm good even when I don't control myself.

"And you people are supposed to be sensitive and sharp?"

—You ass sniffer!

"Do you come here often?"

—Very warm, generous people.

"What kind of lettuce do you like?" [from a beautiful woman]

—Romaine, butter, and let us leaf the lights on.

"Why is ice so cold?"

—Are you cold?

"That's one possibility."

—One's enough.

"Yeah, but I got to pay more for my computer than you did."

—Anyone does.

"Take my word for it."

—Well, keep trying!

"Now this guy's too good for us."

—It's a tenuous life at best.

"Good for her!"

—Not too bad.

"Good for you!" [Condescendingly]

—What's good for me?

"Whatever works for you."

—Just pick a card; what difference does it make?

"Well, good for you!"

—It's good for anyone.

"That'll be good for you!"

—Totally ridiculous.

"That's good for you!"

—Don't chug out too many credits.

"Why not? She will be glad to go out with you ... Furthermore, you don't have to worry that you will overspend. This girl doesn't go for money. She goes for person."

[See Icarus and the Gutter Snipe]

"It got too tough for you."

—I must be good for something.

"How much you pay for this car?"

—You get a good deal on this one.

"Are you guys for real?"

—Every question is asked, and every question is answered.

"Do you find it works for you?"

—I'm very good at sneaking stuff into garbage cans.

"I don't know if we should sit here – She has really big hair." [People arriving in an almost empty theater, sitting down right behind you]

—Wait until it starts growing.

"It was so predictable." [As the credits begin to roll, a high-maintenance Brahmin, not too bright, in the row behind you, flipping on her cell phone & critiquing the movie you just saw.]

—You're so smart ... You have to practice in front of a mirror when you get home.

"I'm sorry I woke you up."

—We're just in the same warp.

"Today's your special day!"

—All different.

"You are a special friend."

—That's the way people are – It's easier.

"How many tickets?"

—Just look around.

"Are you by yourself?"

—Only me.

"Did you do this all by yourself?"

—Ask around.

"Come on in and try not to ruin everything by being you!"

—Infinitely big.

["My favorite is PayMyBills.com – Do you have a favorite service on the Internet?"] "Not really."

—I've been there.

"Really? I don't believe you."

—That's good, because it shows it's different.

"Really?"

—Just ask.

"I'm going to do some errands."

—What do you want to be in reality for?

"Mary, you know that's total bullshit – It really makes me mad."

—Enough is enough.

"Is that so?"

—Take it from the voice of experience – Living dangerously – Spooky, huh?

"I'm so happy!"

—This is more fun than anyone's had in a long time.

"Cheer up, Richard!"

—Can't resist.

"Dogs bark – If I didn't like dogs, I'd try to get them not to do those things they do naturally."

—The Wilderness Philosopher.

—Thanks for warning me.

"Well, that's easy for you to say – Your mom died and left you a million."

—Some people like it, and some people don't.

"What are you waiting for?"

—She's not known in this world ...

"Come on! What are you waiting for?"

—Some people are nice.

"Remember, only one person can win, so please give a big round of applause to our third runner-up (It's you, honey!)"

—Not everyone.

"Still working a lot?"

—Customers come first.

"Are you still here?"

—Even at midnight.

[Street toughs looking for a rabbit to come along]

—He would have bored another hole, but he sold the machine.

"Jackass! Fucking blockhead!"

—Don't say that too loud – You might start a stampede.

"Well, if you say so."

—It's like Boom! – You just say it.

"Okay, if you say so."

—I assure you.

"You're fine – Just checking – To be sure."

—It's endless.

"Make sure you see some things." [On your trip]

—It helps people.

["How are you doing?" "Fine."] "Fine? Are you sure?"

—Do we understand each other then?

["I'm not going to the Prom."] "Sure you are, honey!"

—I know you like telling other people what to do.

"Are you sure I can't bring you more coffee?"

—Just forget it – Don't worry about anything.

"It's been wonderful and crazy knowing you!"

—Yo, heave, ho! For a life in the sea!

"NOW!"

—Very intelligent, huh?

"Now, now!"

—That is the biggest lesson.

"Are you happy now?"

—I feel I'm going to sing, I'm glad I'm not alive anymore.

"I don't think so."

—Perhaps the whole world is a woman who will always say her butcher block is the wrong color.

"Now you know too much."

—Remember that because I may forget.

"Now you know."

—It just disappears.

"Now what?"

—It almost makes me want to go to Sunday School.

"I'd like to leave you with one thought, but I'm not sure you have a place to put it!"

—Put it on the Internet.