Theory of

Taunts, Insults or Attacks

Codewords Inside Aggressive "Tricks"

"Wings" to Fly
Back to Yourself


Six Choices

Essays | Art

Street Smarts

Presskit | Publicity



Site Map

Kids' Pages


The Way Out





Patient refers to it as stargate-two-three

A Busybody.3






—Blunt! Moving on.

No more!


—A breakout success!




Ambition — Women who are very ambitious, and men who have latent homosexual tendencies, frequently refer to certain people as "assholes." They cannot see that people are different.





[greed & assassination] - Their mouth, and what comes out of their mouth, is so ugly - When you are born, you stumble into a culture. And sometimes you're a little different.

The Age of Attention, ages 4-7




Exactly what someone said [or did]
... usually not very original.

The thoughts of a "bad child"
... to free your mind again.




"Atta girl!" [To a guy making a presentation in a prep school classroom, from the school bully]

No more!

—If it wasn't for him, I'd probably be a little toady in the gothic horrors of goody-goodiners.

"What if someone says, 'You're an asshole!' —?"


—That's the way you see it.



—I don't want any of that fifteen-mile bullshit!

"Honk if you have a small penis!" [From a passing bicyclist]

—A breakout success!

—That's easy for YOU to say!

"How much more you got to eat?"

No more!

—Pretty soon they'll have too many vultures.

"The longer you wait, the more it's going to cost."

No more!

—It's a mirage.

"I recognize you are increasingly more beautiful than you are intelligent." (–Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi to female politician Rosy Bindi, October 9, 2009)

No more!

—I'm ugly like a fox!

"You get paid to sit there and regurgitate other people's writing instead of doing your own thinking."

—A breakout success!

—Someday this is going to make me poor.

"Mary, you regurgitate Democratic talking points well."

—A breakout success!

—Everyone has it just as bad as you.

["I have to leave right now for a ten o'clock meeting."] "Just one more minute!" [You're in your boss's office at five-minutes-to-ten; your girlfriend is outside the office building waiting with packed bags for you both to catch a cab to the airport; and your boss intends to keep you wrapped up in a rambling business strategy conference half an hour – if you let him]

No more!

—[Try to look serious...] – Just a finger! – [... because they're the bosses!] ... This stuff is nothing ... I get it! ... Satellite ready! ... Money breeds money ... I do everything right, believe me ... Wheel me off the roof ... Feces unite! ... Huge amount! ... I'll get some strange toilet, something really weird.

"How did you land him? He doesn't look your type at all."

—A breakout success!

—Did I say you could breathe?

"Have a little respect for your elders, will you?"

—Blunt! Moving on.

—You mean in 8000 BC?

"Don't annoy your mother – She has heart trouble."

—A breakout success!

—Everyone has trouble with authority figures.

"Do you get AIDS from French kissing?"

—A breakout success!

—That's what I remember.

"Whatever you say."

—Blunt! Moving on.

—Whatever it is, it's good.

"Where's the bluebird?"

—Blunt! Moving on.

—Mama has a dead chicken she talks to – Oh, yeah! You should really see that.

[Someone distracting you with random fragments from television, or things you once said, or some cartoon character]

—A breakout success!

—Do it again! ... Do it again! ... That's what I like to hear! ... That's what I like to hear!

"But you do whatever you want with it."

—A breakout success!

—Don't tell anybody at the FCC!

[A dismissive wave of the hand]


—It means nothing to me.

"Have you ever taken the wrong exit before?" [From a passenger]

—A breakout success!

—Very frustrating.

"Straight arrow, huh?"

No more!

—Sometimes that happens.

"You are so inconsiderate."

—A breakout success!

—Once in a blue moon.

"Whatever you think."

No more!

—Without even knowing it.

"Who trained you?"

—A breakout success!

—It's another world.

"He's really got you trained, doesn't he?"

—A breakout success!

—Oh, no, we don't have to do that.

"Mom's got you doing the dishes, huh?"

—Blunt! Moving on.

—You do what you can and that's it.

"In this family, you do what the little missuz says, right?"

—Blunt! Moving on.

—But not for long.

"You've got sawdust all over you."

—Blunt! Moving on.


"Are you always this outspoken?"

—A breakout success!

—That's a very big idea – I like it.



—Luckily, I could run and laugh at the same time.

"Fuck you, asshole!" [From a passing bicyclist]

—A breakout success!

—Heads up!

["Going out?" "No."] "Oh, racial profiling ... Asshole!" [You're through for the day, putting your cab away, and they find that hard to accept]

—A breakout success!

—It's better to wait – Well, whatever you say, you're wrong.

"Hey, asshole! I'm talking to you, asshole."


—Where's it gonna get you, sweetie?

"Come on, asshole!"


—There is such a thing as power madness.



—Just for you, sweetie.

"You shut up, ASSHOLE! Just shut up, ASSHOLE! I don't want to talk to you, ASSHOLE!"


—It doesn't matter ... It's always in the dark ... Have you been there?

"You're incompetent."

—A breakout success!

—That's very hurtful – You just might be lucky.

"You're an asshole!"

No more!

—Mr. Asshole, to you!

"Whatever!" [Truly angry]

—A breakout success!

Call it what you like ... Going as far as a dog's asshole for learning ... Seeking learning from a dog's past.

"Hey, asshole!" [Wayward bicyclist]

—Blunt! Moving on.

—No, no ... [Wagging the index finger of your left hand at them] ... Of course he's an asshole, but who isn't?

"Hey asshole! You got to go back there!" [From a wacky pedestrian]


—That's it, sweetie – Were you ever there?

"Oh, boy! – What an asshole."


—And I thought you were the expert.

"REAL SMART, ASSHOLE!" [Redneck Harley-Davidson rider to Mexican tow truck driver blocking the way]



"The same to you, asshole!"


—What's in it for you?




"That's just your opinion, asshole!"

—A breakout success!

—It's charmed.

"You're such a doll!"

—Blunt! Moving on.

—I'm not an angel.

"I'm with the clown."

—A breakout success!

—The kindergarten is somewhere else.


—Blunt! Moving on.

—Having a nice time is the only safe thing.

"By kissing up to great big assholes like you."


—This is the time to do it, I think.

"Good-bye, asshole. Asshole." [Presuming you were the one who had been impatiently honking the horn]


—You got the wrong guy!

"Thanks – You're an angel."

—Blunt! Moving on.

—That's what makes the world go around.























22-MAY-1999. It's useful to "institutionalize" people who use verbal violence by pretending they are patients from a nearby mental hospital. For instance, you can envision an assailant as A BULLY or A CRACKPOT, or, on this page, as A BUSYBODY [up at the top]. By institutionalizing them, you diminish their importance. As "therapist" you treat the "patient" with reason, humor, understanding, and in some cases, outwardly directed anger. Personally, I practice a philosophy I learned driving a taxicab in San Francisco: to communicate honestly, to retaliate instantly, to forgive completely, and to broadcast a clarity of intention. The whole idea is to get away with being yourself, at all times and in all places. Let the world take care of itself.

An insult interrupts the flow of your life by reminding you of childhood misunderstandings, though it's nothing compared to the pain in the other person. It's as if their sewer has overflowed and they're inviting you to jump in by simply repeating time-tested barbs containing double meanings, often delivered in an innocent outer form, or "envelope," with a devastating inner content, or "bomb." It's quite possible to reply in kind, except instead of delivering bombs, you can provide the other person a little help in understanding their troubles, a strategy which will make both your lives a little easier, since you are clearly in their presence, and sometimes under their influence.

The way out is to NEVER allow an insult to bypass your intellect. For instance, if someone suddenly cries out, "Asshole!" you can have a lot of fun. Simply respond, "—What's in it for you?" Of course at the same time you should realize as deeply as possible that for the most part you are simply a decent human being.


What They See

Most people nurture their minds the way their parents did.

If their parents abused their minds,
they abuse themselves.

If their parents indulged their minds,
they indulge themselves.

If their parents stupefied their minds,
they stupefy themselves.

What's inside everyone is their fate.

They never ask themselves,
is this expression of my mind good for me?

Many mental formations
are comfortable as old shoes,
but they're killing them.







As follows

CODE WORDS: angel, annoy, arrow, asshole, atta, bloody, bluebird, clown, dishes, [dismissive], [distracting], d'oh, doll, elders, exit, [fragments], honk, incompetent, inconsiderate, intelligent, kissing, missuz, more, outspoken, perseverance, pizza, profiling, regurgitate, sawdust, trained, type, whatever


"Pair of compasses"

—A breakout success!