VerbalTools.com

home C 100 50 10 5 1 «« page 203 »» 1 5 10 50 100 X mail


 
 

SNAKE PIT!

 
 

41. Wacky Pedestrian

 
 
 

Why not have face-saving knowledge for potentially violent situations? Many people are too angry for this to be taught in schools, because ... one ... wrong ... move! (–Source: taxi1010.com stargate23)

 

"Honk if you have a small penis!" [From a passing bicyclist]
—SNAKE PIT!
—That's easy for YOU to say!

 

"What if someone says, 'You're an asshole!' —?"
—SNAKE PIT!
—That's the way you see it.

 

"Come on, asshole!"
—SNAKE PIT!
—There is such a thing as power madness.

 

"Hey, asshole! I'm talking to you, asshole."
—SNAKE PIT!
—Where's it gonna get you, sweetie?

 

"Hey asshole! You got to go back there!" [From a wacky pedestrian]
—SNAKE PIT!
—That's it, sweetie – Were you ever there?

 

"Asshole!"
—SNAKE PIT!
—Just for you, sweetie.

 
 

"Oh, boy! – What an asshole."
—SNAKE PIT!
—And I thought you were the expert.

 

"By kissing up to great big assholes like you."
—SNAKE PIT!
—This is the time to do it, I think.

 

"REAL SMART, ASSHOLE!" [Redneck Harley-Davidson rider to Mexican tow truck driver blocking the way]
—SNAKE PIT!
REAL AXE! ... REAL AXE!

 

"The same to you, asshole!"
—SNAKE PIT!
—What's in it for you?

 

"You shut up, ASSHOLE! Just shut up, ASSHOLE! I don't want to talk to you, ASSHOLE!"
—SNAKE PIT!
—It doesn't matter ... It's always in the dark ... Have you been there?

 

"ASSHOLE!"
—SNAKE PIT!
—And WORSE!

 

"Mary, you regurgitate Democratic talking points well."
—SNAKE PIT!
—Everyone has it just as bad as you.

 

"In this family, you do what the little missuz says, right?"
—SNAKE PIT!
—But not for long.

 

"He's really got you trained, doesn't he?"
—SNAKE PIT!
—Oh, no, we don't have to do that.

 

[Someone distracting you with random fragments from television, or things you once said, or some cartoon character]
—SNAKE PIT!
—Do it again! ... Do it again! ... That's what I like to hear! ... That's what I like to hear!

 

"But you do whatever you want with it."
—SNAKE PIT!
—Don't tell anybody at the FCC!

 

"Where's the bluebird?"
—SNAKE PIT!
—Mama has a dead chicken she talks to – Oh, yeah! You should really see that.

 

"Don't annoy your mother – She has heart trouble."
—SNAKE PIT!
—Everyone has trouble with authority figures.

 

"D'oh!"
—SNAKE PIT!
—Luckily, I could run and laugh at the same time.

 

[A dismissive wave of the hand]
—SNAKE PIT!
—It means nothing to me.

 

["I have to leave right now for a ten o'clock meeting."] "Just one more minute!" [You're in your boss's office at five-minutes-to-ten; your girlfriend is outside the office building waiting with packed bags for you both to catch a cab to the airport; and your boss intends to keep you wrapped up in a rambling business strategy conference half an hour – if you let him]
—SNAKE PIT!
—[Try to look serious...] – Just a finger! – [... because they're the bosses!] ... This stuff is nothing ... I get it! ... Satellite ready! ... Money breeds money ... I do everything right, believe me ... Wheel me off the roof ... Feces unite! ... Huge amount! ... I'll get some strange toilet, something really weird.

 
 

 

home C 100 50 10 5 1 «« page 203 »» 1 5 10 50 100 X mail