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TOOLSET
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INFORMAL FALLACY
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Party
Manners — These are really the Rules of Nobility
- For many people, everything is territorial, which is neither good
nor bad - They're "just naturally"
like a dog lifting a leg to piss - When you're with your
own kind, just be the way you are - When you're down at the stables,
talk about horses.
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NOTES TO MYSELF
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PSYCHOLOGICAL AGE
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CLASS
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[madness
swimming in obscurity] - Tentative connections - Confounding
implications - They're just big talkers - [Obscuram per obscurius
(Latin). "Explaining of an obscure thing by something even
more obscure."] - Everyone learns a different way to lie when
they're little (Social Persona) - They're trying to get you
involved - Pull away! Pull away!
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The Age of Self-Expression,
ages 8-11
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Challenges
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Exactly what someone said
[or did]
... usually not very original.
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The thoughts of a
"bad child"
... to free your mind again.
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TRICKS
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WINGS
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IDEAS
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"You're a long way from Boston."
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—It's shocking.
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—Yes, I am ... We can see it!
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"I just got out of the hospital."
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—It's shocking.
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—Very bewildering.
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"Okay, well, now you're weirding me out!"
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—I hope.
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—From little spoonfuls.
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"If I know somebody well, in ten minutes ... I could perhaps say
to them things so cruel, so destructive, that they would
never forget them for the rest of their life. But could I in ten minutes
say things so beautiful, so creative, that they would
never forget them?" (–Bishop Kallistos Ware)
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—I hope.
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—"Character, like a photograph, develops in darkness."
(–Yousuf Karsh) ... "What's the matter, Ricky? Why don't you
turn up a smile?" (–Emily, eight years old, June 1962)
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"It's one of the enduring mysteries:
Why is it so easy to think of something memorable and
ugly to say, and so hard to think of something memorable
and beautiful?" (–Suzette Haden Elgin)
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—Not many.
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—Christianity doesn't work with lions ... Oh, you have a thorn in
your paw! ... It's like a memory you never knew you had.
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"So you're the grownup in all this."
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—It's shocking.
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—That's shocking, but true.
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"Oh! Patti, you're grownup."
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—I hope.
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—Because I live right, I work hard, I don't smoke.
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"That's why the Japanese say, 'Most beautiful just
before.'"
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—It's shocking.
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—Won't hurt you.
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"I'm happy to be governor of Alaska ... couldn't
be more proud, of course, of my position as governor of Alaska."
(–Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska, September 4, 2008)
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—No wonder.
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—The ground can get very cold ... We want to protect the oil, because
the whole world needs it ... I've seen enough people, I know what comes
next ... Keep your fingers crossed! ... That's the sign ... Can
you blame me? ... You'll get another.
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"I think with Bristol being pregnant and her mother standing up
for her, it brings some heart to politics. She is an amazing woman who
can do it all and an amazing role model unlike
any others you can think of. Oprah is not married, Martha Stewart has
dogs — her daughter is grown — and Rachael Ray is married, but
doesn't have kids. Governor Palin is running a state and a family
of five ... Conservatives have a bad history with The New York Times.
How can I be sure that you won't take my words and twist
them to suit some agenda that you already have?" (–Julie O'Hara,
from Great Falls, Montana, as reported by David Carr in "Drawing
A Bead On the Press," The New York Times, September 8, 2008)
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—It's shocking.
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—That's what happened to Jesus.
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"Happy holidays!"
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—It's shocking.
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—It's so extreme, you know?
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"Vera's boyfriend was surprisingly nice."
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—No wonder.
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—Nothing's new.
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"Nice guy!" [Sarcastically]
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—It's shocking.
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—More than you would imagine.
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"Nice try."
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—I hope.
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—Isn't life weird?
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"So you had a nice Thanksgiving?"
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—I hope.
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—Expect more!
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"How's that reindeer holding up?"
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—Not many.
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—Cold, huh?
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"Thanks for the raisins."
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—I hope.
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—Very rarely.
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"That's not a dress; it's a sweater ... a
long sweater." [Referring, out of the blue, to something
she wore last week]
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—It's shocking.
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—That I want to see.
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"I love that – It looks good on you."
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—I hope.
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—I noticed yours is perfect, and mine is abysmal.
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"I love you!"
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—Not many.
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—Think twice.
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"I love you; I just don't like you."
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—No wonder.
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—It wasn't meant to be.
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["What do you have?" "Two cereals."] "I cannot
see." [Inside the paper bag]
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—No wonder.
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—That's what I've heard.
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"Those who can, do; those who cannot,
teach."
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—Not many.
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—Those who can, do; those who can't, bully. [See Tim Field's Bully
OnLine]
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"You missed the scene of a lifetime!"
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—I hope.
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—Again?
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"No, Sir! But I notice your eyes are glazed –
Have you been eating donuts?"
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—No wonder.
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—That's very possible.
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["Hi."] "You have some nerve! You've lived here twelve
years and you've never talked to me."
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—No wonder.
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—That would be best.
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"Ugh!"
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—I hope.
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—How more do you need?
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"I'm going to have to wear a name tag."
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—It's shocking.
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—Like a dog.
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"I think people who don't feel that way [frightened and sad], who
don't get angry, are not human."
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—No wonder.
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—The clown can't give up crying, and the aristocrat can't give up
laughing – Feel the feelings! Get it over with! – I
did that the other day, it almost killed me.
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"You're a wonderful human being."
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—It's shocking.
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—Don't hold it against me.
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"If you'd married Whitney, you'd be divorced by
now."
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—No wonder.
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—What does sex have to do with it?
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["Which do you like better, stick-shift or automatic?"] "I
like both – I like what I have now – I'm more grown-up."
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—No wonder.
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—That's deeper.
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"Why did you get a shovel?"
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—It's shocking.
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—Hold the questions lightly – Another aimless day.
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"You're too nice." [Teenage girl to teenage
boy]
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—It's shocking.
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—So what are you going to do about it? ... Suffer! ... You're
supposed to suffer for three days.
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"Excuse me, we're going to SFO, right?"
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—It's shocking.
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—Sometimes it's paralysis by analysis.
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"I love you, Richard, and I can't live without
you."
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—Not many.
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—Great is the gate, narrow is the path.
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"DON'T YOU EVER PUT THE SOUP THERE! That area is
for making food!"
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—No wonder.
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—She was painting the town red, dancing on the table!
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"Take that away! Take that upstairs!"
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—Not many.
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—Right away!
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"We have no respect for anyone anymore."
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—Not many.
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—It's like a dog-eat-dog world that we don't live in.
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"And I hope you fail!"
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—Not many.
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—You always get one lousy customer – then the next one's good!
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REFLECTIONS
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10-MAY-2002.
An Open Child
If you ask most people, "What's the opposite of love," without batting an eye,
they'll say, "Hate!" People with autism would say something different. If you
asked someone who is «absorbed in imaginary activity, directed by their
wishes, with arrested childhood development affecting language and social communication»,
"What is the opposite of being loved?" they'd probably say, "Being neglected."
An anonymous friend on the World Wide Web sent Amoret and me the following
message: "Could you provide good pointers for those on the Autistic Spectrum?
This is so we can learn Social/Emotional Intelligence better to camouflage ourselves
from would-be abusers, and to find and keep friends and sexual partners?"
"Normal people," for the most part, are absorbed in pain, with little sense
of humor about it. I learned this the hard way. My best friend had been telling
me about a girl he had been avidly courting, giving her a red rose once a week,
because, as he put it, "She's totally open now, and I don't want to miss this
chance ... Maybe something will happen."
I felt a little peeved, because he has an inclination to describe people in
psychological terms, pretty much saying, if he likes them, they're being themselves,
and if he hates them, they're acting out from the superego imitation of their
mother. On this particular day I expressed my displeasure by saying, "You know,
whenever anyone talks about the superego or about being open, I have no idea
what they're talking about." Frankly, I felt he was being a sap, because
when people like other people, they like them just for being themselves, not
for any gifts they come up with.
Slightly trembling, he said, "Being open means being one raw nerve filled with
unimaginable pain," whereupon he turned on his heels and said, "I'm taking the
BART train home." Somewhere in there I grabbed his shoulders and said, "Come
on! Get a sense of humor about being open!" which didn't do any good —
He's been scrupulously avoiding me ever since.
In the meantime, I asked Mary, the girl I've been avidly courting, "What's
the opposite of love?"
"Hate!" she said, without batting an eye.
"What's the opposite of sex?"
"Marriage!" — This was funny, because that's the impediment —
"Oh, you made me blush," she went on, sort of wiggling behind the glass window
where she works. "It was just the first word that crossed my mind."
"Do you think feeling and sentiment are the same thing?" I asked in a hurry,
because I was blocking the line behind me.
"No," she said, "They aren't."
30-MAY-2012.
As follows
CODE WORDS: Alaska,
area, beautiful, Boston, cannot, destructive, divorced, enduring, fail, glazed,
grown-up, grownup, holidays, hospital, human, love, memorable, mysteries, nice,
raisins, reindeer, respect, role model, scene, SFO, shovel, sweater, talked,
twist, ugh, unlike, upstairs, wear, weirding
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XLV
Lacerta
"Lizard"
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—No wonder.
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