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Big family!

 
 

66. The Dieter

 
 
 

Some people have trouble with boundaries. Some cultures have trouble with boundaries. Some entire civilizations have trouble with boundaries. Some beggars have trouble with boundaries. But wait! That's what beggars do! (–Source: taxi1010.com stargate35)

 

"Look at the fat chick."
—Big family!
—Oh, yes, the national debt is much too high ... or is it?

 

"You ride in the front – You're the biggest."
—Big family!
—Okay, I will.

 

"Hey, you're fat!"
—Big family!
—Some people would say that.

 

"Damn, fat ass, lose some weight."
—Big family!
—Seven fat years, seven lean years ... You can't get too worked up about it ... Don't tease doggies and don't tease anyone bigger than you ... It's better to have different kinds of people ... "Shallow people are the only ones who truly know themselves." (–Oscar Wilde)

 

"You don't sweat much for a fat lady."
—Big family!
—If you're big, you don't have to be mean.

 

"You've got fat thighs."
—Big family!
—Probably the only one in town.

 

"You look pretty good for a fat guy."
—Big family!
—Have you ever heard the expression, "Fat, dumb and happy?"

 

"Let's go, asshole."
—Big family!
—Get thee behind me, Diarrhea!

 

"Look, Elephant Girl, just get Carol or something."
—Big family!
—Be seeing you!

 

"Let's see if I can screw this up again today."
—Big family!
—Making more money than anyone.

 

"Do you think I look fat in this?"
—Big family!
—Everything but!

 

"One study described obese patients as 'awkward, unattractive, ugly, and unlikely to comply with treatment.' (This last is significant, because doctors who think patients won't follow their instructions treat and prescribe for them differently.)" (–Harriet Brown, "For Obese People, Prejudice in Plain Sight," NYT, 16 March 2010)
—Big family!
—People ignore their impulses ... They wrap them up in cellophane and tie a ribbon around them ... motivations = impulses ... Most people can't see their impulses ... They just see the results of these impulses going all around.

 

"Kind of tight today?"
—Big family!
—It's always been that way.

 

"Putting on a little weight there, huh?"
—Big family!
—Will you get in touch with your humanity?

 

"How did a little girl like you land a great big job like this?"
—Big family!
—You call yourself a woman?

 

"What happened to your queer party friends?"
—Big family!
—It's all in your mind.

 

"Was Richard giving you a mischievous grin?"
—Big family!
—That's stretching it.

 

"Who picks out your clothes?"
—Big family!
—You don't.

 

"Are you hard of hearing from listening to loud music or are you just being a prick today?"
—Big family!
—Maybe it's better to leave well enough alone.

 

"Why can't you play a decent ball game?"
—Big family!
—You're right! – Just pay me!

 

"Can you help me with something to eat?"
—Big family!
—I support a long stay in warm weather.

 

"Have you got an extra five dollars?"
—Big family!
—Do you wish you had one of your own?

 

"Do you have a nickel for five pennies?"
—Big family!
—I don't want to hear anymore.

 

"Hey man, you got fifteen dollars?"
—Big family!
—I forgot.

 

[Someone parroting you]
—Big family!
—It's just good to know.

 

"You may want to start pulling your weight."
—Big family!
—Having trouble already? ... Just do what you're doing; go slow ... Wheelchair 2.0 ... "Whenever a critic says something bad about your work, invite them out to lunch and ask them what they don't like about it." (–W. Somerset Maugham)

 

"The bank asks if you can cosign this loan."
—Big family!
—That's dangerous – I don't think it's good for me.

 

"FUCK-FACE!"
—Big family!
—Just to make money, huh?

 

"You're not going to help make my season jolly?"
—Big family!
—I'm going to do that.

 

"Will you do my front?" [She's face down on a massage table]
—Big family!
—Maybe ... I've reached the magical age.

 

"You don't have any diseases, do you?"
—Big family!
—I'm riddled with diseases.

 
 

 

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