"Now I love being home in this place where Ann and I were raised, where both of us were born. Ann was born in Henry Ford Hospital. I was born in Harper Hospital. No one's ever asked to see my birth certificate. They know that this is the place that we were born and raised." (–Mitt Romney, August 24, 2012)

—That's what the mother always says.

"Do you think I'm a mean person?"

—This is the Buddhist influence.

"Hello, dog."

—Avoid entanglements!

"Do you know what I mean?"

—Very slowly.

"You dog! ... wet dog."

—A total terror.

"How come this dog is so clean, Richard?"

—Is that bad?

"What are you doing with a dog?"

—You ain't seen nothing yet.

"Woof! Woof! Meow. Meaow."

—Like us.

"When I say no, I really mean yes."

—Primitive.

"Mean what you say!"

—They castrated part of your emotions.

"What's a mean person?"

—Walk around with a knife.

"I wasn't mean when I got in the cab, was I?"

—You just pretend you're a war canoe.

"You must meet a lot of mean people."

—I don't mind.

["Have you ever been there before?"] "What do you mean?"

—Your wish is my command.

["Good morning."] "What does that mean?"

—Another deep thinker.

"I didn't mean to be talking to you."

—Go back into your grave.

"Is it from your personal experience?" [Erotica you wrote]

—I didn't follow up on that.

"I think you're so mean!"

—I'm trying to be what I am – not what I'm supposed to be.

"Well, At least you're having fun." [Talking about some pursuit of yours (e.g., music, blog, etc.), after it comes out (usually by their prying) that it doesn't make you any money] (–Daniel)

—(1.) It's like saying whale shit is more important than a lightning bolt ... (2.) It's very fine-tuned ... (3.) Both are good ... (4.) Ideas are bulletproof ... (5.) (You attack yourself because people are beating you up. The first step is to stop beating yourself up. Don't look for results. Just keep doing it. The idea is not to feel good – The idea is to fight back) ... (6.) That's a very good sign ... (7.) "Well, you've done it again. Your mother just went in for a gall bladder operation." ... (8.) Really old-school.

"I have to ask ... Soon almost every man in America is going to want to know ... if you have a boyfriend." [Interrogation of Indian actress on 60 Minutes]

—Sounds like My Fair Lady.

"At least we have a level playing field here in America – Anyone can make it, you know?"

—It's a beach forest – They have deer, wild boar, and goats, and among other things, they have wild cats ... a spell-breaker.

"It is an interesting statement, but I am wondering if you could clarify what you mean by a 'box.'"

—After a while you want to change your life – if you can.

"You're tolerant, aren't you, dude?"

—The reluctantly smart thing to do is nothing.

"Also, could you clarify what you said about enigmatic verbal self defense?"

—It exists on many levels ... They're all these ideas and they're reflective of each other.

"There are people who have worked for years for that job – Don't you think you need more experience?"

—I know you probably have someone else picked for the job, but if they have a nervous breakdown, I'll step in.

"It's so good you're going for jobs like that because those people have so much more experience."

—What about intelligence?

["I don't watch the news."] [General hilarity from your friends]

—There's always going to be nincompoops.

"Are you non-native speaker of English? This is not a common terminology in US - at least not that I am familiar with."

—You have real teeth! I have fako!

"Who do ya' love?"

—Don't you have a cat you can slap around?

"Only Allah knows, right?"

—Many, many, many people have not heard of her.

"Please keep an eye on her." [Your daughter]

—And Lawrence of Arabia!

"What's happening, bro'?"

—One thing after another.

"Perhaps you should check the strength of your antidepressant medication, considering what it did to Dad."

—You know all the angles, right?

"Can you follow that?"

—I read about that in books.

"Those machines won't work with counterfeit bills."

—I hope sparks don't fly.

"Well, you saw the red light."

—Especially if you can't see.

"You saw that movie, didn't you?"

—And I thought I was crazy.

"I'm retired."

—How do you like it?

"Can you sing, 'Daisy'?"

—She used to be Snow White, but she drifted.

"Yada, yada, yada!"

—The crazier it is, the better.

"I paid six thousand dollars for these seats – I don't have to put up with this."

—Probably in five years it'll be foolproof.

"I'm a businessman."

—Look for the silver lining.

"You must be a fan of the 'Whole Language' article in today's Journal."

—It fell off a truck, right?

"What do you mean by commitment?"

—Casablanca, Gone with the Wind, Doctor Zhivago.

—All that!

—Something magnificent.

"Have fun." [From a pretty girl, this can be a form of rejection]

—We'll see, won't we?

"Are we having fun yet?"

—You can't miss.

"You could do some contract programming on the side."

—If my nose itches, it must be true.

"Having fun?"

—Better than chocolate!

"Do you know UNIX?"

—But the King has a couple more in the harem.

"What do you know about UNIX?"

—It's really developed.

"What kind of programming do you do?"

—Whatever's necessary.

"You just haven't had the experience."

—There's no way to know.

"Have you had any Windows experience?"

—It's reaching absurd proportions, isn't it?

"You're so scandalous."

—Not half naked, half dressed!

"What a dirty mind! I never would have thought of such a thing."

—It's almost ludicrous, isn't it?

"Can I see your license and registration?"

—I was just going with the traffic.