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Taunts, Insults or Attacks

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CLINIC

PATIENT

DIAGNOSTIC

Patient refers to it as stargate-three-three

A Violator.1

Fantasy.3

 

TOOLSET

INFORMAL FALLACY

 

—If you will.

—What is Death?

—Oh, yeah!

Save money!

Moxie's

Disease

 

The Fallacy of Equivocation — Almost all words have more than one meaning, and this informal fallacy changes the meaning of a key word during the course of an argument. Sarcasm is an excellent example of equivocation.

 

NOTES TO MYSELF

PSYCHOLOGICAL AGE

CLASS

[aspersion & double-entendre] - They're put-down artists airing their dirty laundry - On one side, it's spiteful; on the other side, it's cruel - There's another way altogether - A human being can stand up for beauty - To one person something's just stupid, to another, it's something they spent a lot of time, energy and attention on - It's like an argument with two sides - Notice that litter is intrinsically equivocal. For instance, when I drop a paper cup on the ground, it becomes litter. Behold! - When I pick it up again, it reshapes into a paper cup. It's magic! It's also equivocal.

The Age of Self-Expression, ages 8-11

Murder

 

 
 
 
 
 

Exactly what someone said [or did]
... usually not very original.

The thoughts of a "bad child"
... to free your mind again.

TRICKS

WINGS

IDEAS

"Never go shopping when you're hungry."

—Oh, yeah!

—It's very hard to sit back and watch someone suffering.

"Is this there's shopping and everything?"

—If you will.

—Blast off!

"Do you see what a pain-in-the-ass she is?" [Sideswiping his own wife]

—If you will.

—I'm keeping my end up.

"What's a woman?"

—What is Death?

—A pig, a horse, a squirrel, a cat! ... They want a baby biologically and a victim socially.

"He's a major pain-in-the-ass." [Sideswiping her own husband]

—If you will.

—She's very good looking and she's very well-spoken.

"Wow! That's a bit harsh."

—Oh, yeah!

—Fall apart.

"What's your favorite response so far?"

—If you will.

Drunk again!

"I'm going to make your life a living hell."

Save money!

You smarty! Join the Nazi Party!

"Good luck with the social engineering!"

Save money!

—It's harder than you think.

"You do that so well, Barbara." [Making chicken noises on an NPR radio broadcast]

—What is Death?

—Everyone will be doing it soon.

"The misfortunes of others are the taste of honey." [Japanese saying]

—If you will.

—Whoever said that was a very smart person.

"I have noticed that the three confirmed bachelors, you, me, and David, each have a sister we are close to, whereas the three of us who have wives or steady girlfriends, Jim, David, and Al, without exception, detest their sisters."

—If you will.

—Trouble and more trouble!

"Think of it this way: I hope you get charged for replacing the medallion, and for the shifts on Wednesday night, Thursday morning, Thursday night, and Friday morning."

—If you will.

—That was a killer! ... You cannot control someone else's behavior, but you can control how you respond to it.

"A warm person." [Sarcastically]

—What is Death?

—It's asking for a miracle.

"If you're not confused, you're just not thinking clearly."

—Oh, yeah!

—That's where division of labor comes in – You do this and you do that.

"For some reason no gate is showing up." [The computer display on her side of the cashier's window]

Save money!

—Take baby steps.

"Oh, can't get a date?"

—What is Death?

—The slower the better.

"Well, at least they have firm ones." [The waitresses at Hooters]

Save money!

—Nobody can do better than that.

"Let me just offer an advance warning to the old, big-spending, do-nothing, me-first, country-second crowd: change is coming." (–Senator John McCain, September 4, 2008)

Save money!

—Butterfingers!

"Can I talk to you for just a minute?"

—If you will.

—Friday night would be good ... or Thursday night.

"You got a problem, bro'?"

—Oh, yeah!

—I usually know what I"m stealing.

"A waste of time."

—What is Death?

—A lot of rich people owned islands.

"I spent a lot of time on this."

Save money!

—It's beautiful.

"Do I look like a doorman?"

—If you will.

—It may come from jogging.

"Just a kid."

—What is Death?

—Just one of the many.

"We create our own reality."

—What is Death?

—A little flea bite.

"Noble."

Save money!

—You're too good for me.

"You're a hell of a guy!"

Save money!

—It goes both ways – Go to my gallery ... Tell them to give you my special price – You have good taste, kid! ... You always had good taste, kid.

"I think your sister's pretty."

—What is Death?

—Why else?

"Oh, she had a little blonde moment."

—If you will.

—It's not that different from heaven.

"We have captured the American pilots, and we will be teaching them a lesson."

—If you will.

—We're not savages.

["It was so scary! I almost fell in front of the cable car!"] "I almost pushed you."

—If you will.

—It sneaks up on you, doesn't it?

"It happened for a reason."

Save money!

—Then you get over it.

"Oh, I'm not going to leave him! – Not yet."

—What is Death?

—What can I say?

"I think life is messy, complicated, and filled with grays."

Save money!

—Pretend you don't have any money.

"I told him, 'That's not how you spell my name – I'm not going to MARRY you!'"

—Oh, yeah!

—Give other people a chance.

"I left instructions under there."

Save money!

—Under where?

"I made you say underwear!"

—Oh, yeah!

—Sometimes we catch on kind of slow.

"Think white and get serious."

Save money!

—And what about the metric system?

"And what about the metric system?"

Save money!

—It's all fake.

[Any off-the-wall response]

—If you will.

—Did you ever go off on a tangent?

["I dreamt about you and your father two nights ago."] "Poor thing."

—If you will.

—It's so real!

"Oh, poor dogs!"

—Oh, yeah!

—That I know.

"Do you want a little kitty?"

—If you will.

—It's intimidating, isn't it? – Help me!

"A kitty looks pretty funny without fur – It looks like a chicken!"

—If you will.

—I think you're making a fashion statement.

"Let's confuse ourselves."

—Oh, yeah!

—Crossed wires.

"To read a website that befuddles and doesn't really amuse me, see http:// www.taxi1010.com/ stargate14.htm" [Link from Drew Vogel on WAIF 88.3 FM, SMACK IT CINCINNATI!]

—Oh, yeah!

—Which is worse?

"Taxi1010.com - someone figure out what the deal is and let me know ... I'm confused!" [Link from www.NoSarcasm.com]

—Oh, yeah!

—It looks easy, but very few people could do this.

"If you're not confused, you're not thinking."

—Oh, yeah!

—It's too bad it isn't true.

"Why do people pursue on bullying good people at work? – I think it is just their insecurity – I know it is all too clear this is an unjust tactic and it makes the workplace very unpleasant."

—If you will.

—It's a primitive thing, tribal ... It used to be all white ... For the long haul, does it make any sense? ... Very narrow ... You have to have a sense of humor about these things ... Sometimes the cure is a clean conscience.

"Why can't everyone just get along without making the workplace so difficult with the games they play? – That is not why we go to work – We are there to do a job."

Save money!

—Just build a box around it ... A mystery box ... packed with insulation.

"Everything's getting very exclusive."

Save money!

—Don't get sucked in.

"That's reassuring."

Save money!

—No one would ever know.

["The service around here sucks!"] "How would you know? You haven't had any yet."

—What is Death?

—You said it! I didn't.

"Is he dead yet?"

—What is Death?

—A little funeral – I wish for him to die, and that your life is a party.

"Not my department."

—Oh, yeah!

—Who is better at earning a living and making their way in the world?

"You'd say anything to avoid a fight."

—If you will.

—At a certain point you can just let it go.

"I'll take care of the jokes, Bill."

—What is Death?

—Poke's the name! Real sharp! Get the point? Am I bor-ing you?

"Don't be a wise guy."

—What is Death?

—I'm not a rag – You can't tell me what to do – Put on the dog a little!

"Pretty feisty, Tim!"

—What is Death?

—I think this is it.

"Thanks for your time, I am looking forward to your reply."

—What is Death?

—You're not; a part of you is.

"That's a nice thing to say."

Save money!

—What happens when you have to be all things to all people? – Subservient and friendly.

"See? I made him bow down!"

—Oh, yeah!

—Not everyone has my luck.

"Don't you want to live a life the way you want to?"

—What is Death?

—At some level.

"A really developed culture there." [Palestinian West Bank, where they're killing each other]

Save money!

—They want their kids to "be something," but this is very dangerous, because what do they want them to be? Miserable and hard working.

"That was a nice stop." [After coasting through a stop sign]

—Oh, yeah!

—I don't see this as an occupation.

"Have a good day." [From someone who actually is crazy]

—What is Death?

—Why have one when you can have three?

"Good morning, Richard – Have a good day."

—What is Death?

—How can it hurt?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

REFLECTIONS

 
 
 
 
 

17-DEC-1999.

Double-entendre

When one meaning of a word
borders on impropriety and risk,
you can reject the risqué meaning
by saying, "—If you will."

You can accept the risk of further flirtations
by saying, "—Please help me!"

Do the scene poorly —
Just walk through it.

You have to know why you're doing it —
You have to be able to explain it to yourself.


23-JUL-2014.

 

Thick
of
It

ShortCuts

Top
of
Page

 

As follows

CODE WORDS: a, avoid, bachelors, Barbara, befuddles, blonde, bow, confuse, confused, cover-up, create, crowd, cumdump, department, destroying, detest, engineering, exclusive, favorite, feisty, firm, grays, harsh, humorous, hungry, insecurity, instructions, jokes, kitty, lane, misfortunes, noble, [off-the-wall], pain-in-the-ass, plan, poor, pursue, pushed, rape, reason, reassuring, replacing, reply, shifts, shopping, sister's, spell, system, tactic, teaching, [tokenism], underwear, vulnerability, white, workplace, yet

 

XXXIII
Dorado
"Swordfish"

—If you will.