Theory of
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Taunts, Insults or Attacks

Codewords Inside Aggressive "Tricks"

"Wings" to Fly
Back to Yourself

Backup
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Six Choices

Essays | Art

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Presskit | Publicity

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The Way Out

 

CLINIC

PATIENT

DIAGNOSTIC

Patient refers to it as stargate-four-four

A Manipulator.4

Undermining.2

 

TOOLSET

INFORMAL FALLACY

 

I'm sorry. 

—Do you fish?

ANY TIPS? 

—Wise up!

Moxie's

Disease

 

Petitio Principii —
(Begging of the Principle) To "beg the question" is to "argue in a circle" by merely restating the main point in another way, or by presenting the conclusion as proof of the premise.

 

NOTES TO MYSELF

PSYCHOLOGICAL AGE

CLASS

[regression & "neighborly" prying] - Everybody regresses a little bit when they're around friends. I would follow my hunches. You have to institutionalize certain people (in your mind) - They're off their rockers & they're jealous - What they see in you is Freedom of Mind, or Freedom of Expression, Beyond Your Station in Life - You just plead ignorance - Act as if they're your patients, or your wards - Be friendly, expect the worst.

The Age of Self-Expression, ages 8-11

Rules

 

 
 
 
 
 

Exactly what someone said [or did]
... usually not very original.

The thoughts of a "bad child"
... to free your mind again.

TRICKS

WINGS

IDEAS

«dread»

—Wise up!

—They're frightened; they somehow have a door into your childhood; you're doing a number on yourself; it's really no big deal; rethink everything; there's the here & now; get angry; that's something you couldn't do as a child ... Instead of dreading meetings with authority figures, look forward to seeing how they tick ... Sometimes ask someone to do something you ordinarily never would ask them; but give them a way to get off the hook ... You can't go wrong assuming people are more frightened than you expect ... The reason you are more like yourself when you imitate another person is that you don't carry your self-hatred over into the imitation ... Try pretending you're angry when you are around someone who likes to manifest that the world is to blame for his anger ... As long as you are somebody else's picture, you will be angry. If you are a pencil and draw your own life, you have a chance ... A very important part of yourself needs to hear you giving it right back to someone who is mean to you ... Job interview: Drill into yourself at every moment, "I don't need this. I don't need this." It is easy to get sucked into a subservient slave mentality in interviews. Why not have fun? ... If someone provokes you, aren't they tricking you into turning over your whole emotional system to them? Take energy away from your anger and place it into what is best for your own life ... In a difficult or sadistic relationship, it is best to pull back and rethink everything from the point of view of what would make my life better ... See to your own needs before you see to the world's needs ... Always a person's life before any other relationship ... A person does not have to take abuse to be strong. Rather a person can arrange things (say, by using friends) so that the abuse never has a chance to start ... You don't have to be popular with a person you don't like ... Just when you can handle all your difficulties, all your difficulties disappear ... Remember that even when you are feeling bad, the only one who is in you to be happy is yourself ... In some families the girls are all assumed to be bad even when they are boys ... Where David Daniels came from the people are so tough they even tell the one-year-olds to act their age ... If you have anger and hatred, you should be angry outside yourself; for starters, you can be angry at anyone who hurts children or animals. Then see how you should be angry at anyone who hurts the seeds and child of your own life.

"As someone interested in a career in public health – a field focused on prevention and carrying out sustainable, long-term interventions – I am constantly quizzed about why I am not pursuing medicine if I am interested in really helping people. Why would I limit myself?" (–Erika Ruben, St. Louis, June 19, 2013, as published in The New York Times, "For the Graduate, Just One Word: Reality," June 24, 2013)

—Wise up!

—Never naïve.

"Is the family back?" [From a nosy neighbor]

—Do you fish?

"Life in the shade" ... What's the state bird of Kentucky? ... Love to know, wouldn't you? ... He sees what the other kids do ... He sees they don't want to be perfect.

"Clean up your own act."

—Wise up!

—That's another conversation.

"Hey, don't go! I need an animal act."

—Wise up!

—You've reached that level!

"Our computer is down."

—I'm sorry.

—Thwarted again!

"I was just asking if you know how to use the computer."

—ANY TIPS?

—You can ease off a little.

"Trying to get compliance on the Internet is like herding cats."

—I'm sorry.

—Leave it for the mice.

["You can't drink four martinis! You only weigh a hundred and twenty pounds!"] [Inadvertently spoken within the earshot of her boss, who could drink four martinis]

—Do you fish?

—I'm sorry – I lost control of myself.

"I am the leader – You do as I say – You don't think."

—I'm sorry.

—You know, Larry Bird used to sleep three hours before every game.

"I think you should take inventory of yourself. That's ... wacko!"

—I'm sorry.

—It's Jersey velvet, they call it ... Made in New Jersey.

"Some requests are time-bound; I ask you to do, and not think!"

—Wise up!

—When I heard that, my whole life changed.

"Why don't you think of other people?"

—Do you fish?

—I'm not having much trouble.

"Family is all we've got."

—Do you fish?

—Mine wasn't.

"We should be thoughtful of others, right?"

—I'm sorry.

—To each according to their capacity.

["I'm proud of you."] "Nobody cares what you think."

—Do you fish?

—Did you go in your cave again?

"Well, can I just point out that in the last several debates, I seem to get the first question all the time. And I don't mind. I – you know, I'll be happy to field them, but I do find it curious, and if anybody saw 'Saturday Night Live,' you know, maybe we should ask Barack if he's comfortable and needs another pillow." (–Hillary Clinton)

—Wise up!

—That's something that's taking you away from what you believe, or what you're conscious of.

"A computer can't make a mistake – It's only people."

—I'm sorry.

—Your people! – Scottish-Irish, right? – What does all this mean? – It means the dumb are getting dumber! – You have to spend a week unscrewing them.

"What are some good comebacks when people call you names or make some 'yo mama' statements or things like that? I don't know any, and I came crying home one day from school because someone had called my family something that I don't want to say on this." [Question originally posted at Yahoo! Answers] – (Notice they don't come out with any facts)

—Wise up!

What a mind! Then my star is risen!

"They said something about my family I don't want to say here."

—I'm sorry.

—Impressive ... Somebody taught you something wrong ... They're good, huh? ... It might be from drinking ... It's going to get bad anyway, so why get it good? ... Don't die! ... You either get it or you don't.

"Keep remaining sitting. We have a bomb on board." [Recorded voice on hijacked United Airlines Flight 93 before it was crashed into the Pennsylvania countryside on 9/11]

—I'm sorry.

—"Consider the subtle difference between 'having no form' and having 'no form'; the first is ignorance, the second is transcendence." (–Bruce Lee)

"Bring it on!"

—Wise up!

—I'm going to introduce you to your future. [Go for the biggest one]

"Yo' mama!"

—Do you fish?

—Everyone misses ... You're never going to be any richer than you are now ... Full of nouveau riche gutter snipes ... Is this a threat? ... World domination.

"You have a very popular site; I don't know if you can even talk to me anymore."

—I'm sorry.

—That's been going on for years probably.

"You know, you could be popular."

—ANY TIPS?

—I don't want to be popular until I get to civilization.

"Yankee! Yankee!"

—Do you fish?

—They must love you, huh?

"The record speaks for itself."

—I'm sorry.

—And if you don't, it's okay.

"Koo-chi, goo-chi, gooo!" [A crazy person getting too close to your baby]

—ANY TIPS?

—That's enough for today.

[A stranger continuing to get physical with your child]

—Do you fish?

—If I hurt your feelings, I'm very sorry.

"I can see you're not a Southern woman – You must be a Yankee."

—ANY TIPS?

—You shouldn't attack a woman with her child!

"There's only one thing wrong – She hasn't come over to visit me in my room." [Newscaster Lara Logan]

—Wise up!

—Come on, sweetie! Out! Out!

"What made you think of that?"

—Do you fish?

—How do YOU feel when I tell YOU what to say?

"You think you're better than everyone."

—Do you fish?

—Give me a break!

"What makes you think you're so special?"

—Do you fish?

—What if you were like your mother and father?

"What else don't they have? – Think about it."

—I'm sorry.

—Total contentment.

"I hate it! – What do you think?" [About her haircut]

—ANY TIPS?

—I don't care what the angels say to you.

"Listen, if you're not making enough money as a cab driver, you could get a job driving trucks – It's something to think about."

—Do you fish?

—I was walking in the woods with my sister, and God goaded me with sugar.

"You could be a Dominator – Put an ad in the personals."

—Do you fish?

—It's just regression – hormone storms.

"Always blaming me."

—Do you fish?

—A red heifer has to be born.

"I better quit while I'm ahead."

—Wise up!

—You're not ahead, Ted.

"Well, even a 747 looks small when it lands in the Grand Canyon."

—ANY TIPS?

—What if a birdie crashes into it?

"Your memory is highly selective in your own self-interest and in no way reflects the facts or reality."

—ANY TIPS?

—Show me!

"No! She doesn't want to say it! That guy is a bum."

—Do you fish?

—I'm so dirty anyway, what's the difference?

"It's clear – Run the red light!"

—I'm sorry.

—What do YOU have to lose?

"Go ahead! – Make the turn! – No one's around."

—I'm sorry.

—It's a bad sign. [Also see, Peer Pressure]

"Your teacher thinks you could be doing a lot better."

—I'm sorry.

—I'm not going to waste my affections on that child.

"Last notice - Please read - Finalization form enclosed."

—ANY TIPS?

—What do I need pain for?

"There's room for improvement."

—ANY TIPS?

—All I can say is, don't ever get gonorrhea.

"What are you doing to bring the B up?" [Your report card has four A's and one B]

—ANY TIPS?

—Don't tell me things like that!

"You people have brought untold sickness to our society."

—ANY TIPS?

—Crazy, sick, stupid and depraved.

"Looks like you brought us a little rain."

—Do you fish?

—It's going to get uglier.

[Someone pouring it on thick, punishing you for something you said]

—Do you fish?

—You could be making money! What are you doing that for?

"Icarus, for your information, girls will only like guys who are winners."

—I'm sorry.

[See Icarus and the Gutter Snipe]

"You call this a menu?"

—Do you fish?

—Once in a while good things happen.

"Ask me if I give a flying fuck!"

—Do you fish?

—Keep asking.

"Who cares?"

—Wise up!

—Some people ... Try harder! ... Not you! ... Nothing is bad, really.

"To ignore evil is to become an accomplice to it."

—Do you fish?

—It's too luxurious.

"If your idea was any good, someone would have thought of it already."

—I'm sorry.

—That explains a lot.

"Hey! You must be wearing an Armani suit. Let's see." [Grabbing your jacket]

—ANY TIPS?

—Hands off!

"Mr. Armani!"

—I'm sorry.

—Keep your hands to yourself!

"Mind if I have one of your cigarettes?"

—ANY TIPS?

—Don't bother 'em – Leave 'em alone! Bring your own.

"I think you're making a fashion statement."

—I'm sorry.

—Anything helps.

"Hey, pussy!" [Someone walking by, knocking your books onto the floor]

—Wise up!

—Get 'em all with one blow!

"Pussy!"

—ANY TIPS?

—I think that's what you're missing.

"Don't be a pussy."

—Wise up!

—They're all assholes, anyway.

"Who are you looking at, pussy boy?" [People drive around in red convertibles trying to steal other people's happiness; the way out is to be slightly worse than they are]

—ANY TIPS?

—All that.

"Why are you wearing a pussy boy shirt, pussy boy?" (–from "The Trauma of the Pink Shirt" by Simon Critchley, a philosophy professor at the New School, published in The New York Times, April 14, 2013)

—Wise up!

—It's impossible.

"Hey! You're not allowed to stand in line here twice."

—ANY TIPS?

—If you don't mind.

"I'm going to allow you to get that."

—Wise up!

—Only for really rich people.

"Not a bad idea."

—Wise up!

—Don't forget to leave the register open.

"You're vain!"

—ANY TIPS?

—By whose authority?

"Some people just have too much time on their hands."

—Wise up!

—You're right! – Never have anything to do with anyone like me.

"You're as dumb as you look."

—I'm sorry.

—I'm a bad influence, right?

"The only thing that could stop George Bush is for some Black woman to come forward with an illegitimate baby."

—I'm sorry.

—The child picks the parents!

"Do those shoes match?"

—I'm sorry.

—I should think so!

"Your family has an odd dynamic."

—Do you fish?

—It's a little strange.

"Doesn't your family mean anything to you?"

—Do you fish?

—I'm barren and the whole village knows it and hates me!

"You're barren!"

—ANY TIPS?

—Oh, there's so many fish in the sea.

"Be careful how you say that."

—I'm sorry.

—It's no big deal.

"That's bizarre."

—I'm sorry.

—Good thinkin', Lincoln!

"You know, the last time you called, you said very strange and bizarre things."

—ANY TIPS?

—Put the spotlight on yourself!

"Hey, Richard! – I'm going to take some of your coffee!"

—I'm sorry.

—Make sure you do.

"I have some bad news."

—Wise up!

—You know, if you're young, it doesn't bother you.

"Then how 'bout some sex?"

—ANY TIPS?

—Leave it at that.

"Don't you want some sex, baby?"

—ANY TIPS?

—I don't.

"Everybody has problems."

—Do you fish?

—Monkeys steal my underpants every night.

"I think you have some problems, and you really need to work them out."

—I'm sorry.

—You don't have to be a doctor to charge people.

"Go ahead and buy it – What have you got to lose?"

—Wise up!

—Some relative.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

REFLECTIONS

 
 
 
 
 

22-MAY-1999. Generally, people from different generations or from different socioeconomic classes unconsciously bury effective responses those other people use. For instance, if you hear a truly despised teacher saying, "Wise up!" you may never be able to use that expression again because it's buried within your blanket indictment.

Also, a clever attacker might conveniently "use up" an appropriate response before launching an attack. For instance, when a car salesman says, "Go ahead and buy it – What have you got to lose?" he precludes your best defense, which is "—What do YOU have to lose?"

However, with two-word "wings," you can still use that defense:

"Go ahead and buy it – What have you got to lose?"

—Wise up!
—What do YOU have to lose?

 

"It's only money."

—I can only imagine.
It's just honor.


13-JUL-2014.

 

Thick
of
It

ShortCuts

Top
of
Page

 

17-AUG-1999.

You Don't Have to Think About It —
You're Free!

People are constantly reinventing themselves to please other people, like slaving dogs. The sludgiest example of this is when someone says some arcane thing and then says, "Think about it!"

You don't have to think about it. You can just say, "—Do you fish?" and leap anywhere you want.

Or go diving.

People have been trained that to be polite, they have to furrow their brows and act totally engaged. That may be true to some extent up above the mirror, but down below the surface, you don't have to consider the implications of everything anybody says.

You're wiggly and free!

On the other hand, you don't want to step on any Attention Deficit Disorder, now do you?

Think about it.

Ø  ¥

CODE WORDS: accomplice, act, ahead, allow, allowed, Armani, barren, bizarre, blaming, bomb, bored, bring, brought, bum, careful, cares, cigarettes, clear, comfortable, computer, dislodges, [distractions], dominator, «dread», dumb, dump, [earshot], family, fashion, fend, finalization, flying, gooo, gossip, hasn't, herding, idea, improvement, inventory, itself, lands, match, memory, menu, odd, peer, personals, popular, problems, [punishing], pussy, quizzed, remaining, reminding, requests, snitching, some, speaking, [stranger], think, thinks, thoughtful, time-bound, trauma, trucks, vain, wacko, winners, Yankee, yo'

 

XLIV
Indus
"American Indian"

—Wise up!