Theory of

Taunts, Insults or Attacks

Codewords Inside Aggressive "Tricks"

"Wings" to Fly
Back to Yourself


Six Choices

Essays | Art

Street Smarts

Presskit | Publicity



Site Map

Kids' Pages


The Way Out





Patient refers to it as stargate-six-eight

A Patroniser.4






—A joke!

Cheap thrills.

—You think it's cheaper?

—Control yourself!




One-upmanship — If you are oblivious to the moment-by-moment situation and to the people around you, you're a sitting duck.





[impulsiveness, hit and run] - There are just some people you stay away from - They need your attention for some reason - A combination of genes and emotionally disorienting early experiences puts people at risk for impulsiveness – along with some instincts - Using boldface lies to express infantile wishful thinking, they're from a very low culture, and want someone who's worse off than they are - That's their culture!

The Age of Detachment, ages 16-19




Exactly what someone said [or did]
... usually not very original.

The thoughts of a "bad child"
... to free your mind again.




"It's unknowable."

—You think it's cheaper?

—You know what 'extradictionary' means? "Consisting not in words, but in realities."

"Don't be a fucking ass!"

—Cheap thrills.

—You're on your own.

"You f**king fairy! ... You're a f**king f**got!" (–Mike Rice, Rutgers basketball coach, as reported by ABC, CNN and mainstr**m media, April 3, 2013)

—A joke!

—"Anything You Want to Say!" by Morons.

"David, you're a complete f**king assh**e."

—Cheap thrills.

—It's okay, I don't turn down money.

"You're a little f**king fairy!"

—You think it's cheaper?

—It's just more so and more so! ... You can't explain it ... They're looking for some kind of computer device that will allow them to fake having a mind.

"Sissy bitches! ... Motherf*ckers! ... C*nts!"

—Control yourself!

—Very upsetting ... Lay off!

"Can I ask you a stupid question? – What would happen if you reversed the order of the words?"

—You think it's cheaper?

—If you want to micromanage the little players, get a chessboard.

"She doesn't like you."

—A joke!

—Two entire stories: What was done to me? What was done to people I like, making them hate my guts?

"Keep talking – I always yawn when I'm interested."

—Cheap thrills.

—I'm a drunk – I'm not an alcoholic – Alcoholics go to meetings.

"She doesn't fancy you."

—You think it's cheaper?

—THAT's why ... I have a joke for you: Three statisticians go duck hunting. The first statistician takes aim, fires, and shoots one foot ahead of the duck. The second statistician takes aim, fires, and shoots one foot behind the duck. The third statistician says, "We got it!"

"Somebody said we're not in President Obama's Final Four ... As much as I respect what he's doing, really the economy is something he should focus on more than the brackets." (–Duke basketball Coach Mike Krzyzewski, 18 March 2009) [Spoken "good-naturedly," with a smile – The "friendly" insult]

—A joke!

—Maybe it's a plus ... They're all separate ... That's a lot of bread – It's a national treasure ... That's the thing to do for the investment savants – Everyone's getting ahead of everyone else ... What should a free man do?

"There's no excuse for failure."

—You think it's cheaper?

—Different things like that.

"Go back! Go back! We ran out of virgins!" [Caption on an inflammatory European cartoon depicting the prophet Mohammed in the clouds, intercepting suicide bombers on their way up]

—Cheap thrills.

—It's cheaper to let someone rob your house, than break the door.

«Verbal self defense for women establishing boundaries»

—A joke!

—That's a little more information than I need. [Use a soft voice, especially if they're yelling at you.]

"The only good Jap is one who died two weeks ago."

—Cheap thrills.

—You should go to group therapy and learn how to relate to people.

"I would like to continue to see you from time to time. I just can't deal with some of the things you might do around other people."

—Cheap thrills.

—When you don't know what to say next, draw a line ... Gina knows ... the best answer to a fool is silence.

"It's just memories."

—You think it's cheaper?

—The battle for Rome.

"How do you know when you're an authentic person?"

—A joke!

—You just have to live your life; you don't have to prove anything to anybody.

"I WILL be in the waiting room while my daughter-in-law is in labor, and all of you are welcome to come, too. MY SON will come and give me updates every hour on the hour." [At a large Thanksgiving gathering, after her daughter-in-law (pregnant with her first child) has been quietly rebuffing her]

—Cheap thrills.

—No one will know ... Who else do you know, and may I use your name?

"Then you can begin to become authentic."

—A joke!

—People live in two different worlds – In one, you do what you're supposed to do; in the other, you have inner likes, desires and appetites.

"-1 for I can't figure out how to navigate the fucking site." [Link from]

—A joke!

—Were you there for Labor Day or after or before?

"You've got fucking nerve, Hart!"

—Control yourself!

—You just have to bear with it.

"Here you go, schmuckums."

—Control yourself!

—It's totally unnecessary.

"What he lacks in size, he makes up for in speed."

—Cheap thrills.

—Like flies.

"You should have invested in Google."

—A joke!

—I wonder if they make flying taxicabs?

"You could always move back to North Carolina."

—Cheap thrills.

—You're sitting pretty – Not many people have that.

"Pick it up!" [A canine feces]

—Control yourself!

—They're not that smart.

"I hope you're going to clean that up?"

—Control yourself!

—You can't even run your own life ... I'll be damned if you'll run mine.

"We are here to pick up their car."

—A joke!

—This is like levels of rich people.

"You can't blame him for being weird – Look at yourself in the mirror."

—Cheap thrills.

—They weren't very nice in the old days.

"Pick on someone your own size."

—Cheap thrills.

—People really get caught up in greed, don't they?

"Why don't you keep looking into connections?"

—A joke!

—No, now I've drawn the line ... It's hardly worth the trouble ... What do I care about other people? ... At least I can see it.

"Will you do me a little favor?"

—A joke!

—Are you my little boss?

"Will you do me a favor?"

—You think it's cheaper?

—Do I have to do everything you tell me to?

"Can I ask a favor?"

—You think it's cheaper?

—Are you my boss?

"What are you talking to her for? ... she doesn't even like sex."

—A joke!

—Like on TV.

"Who is she?"

—Control yourself!

—She's my cousin.

"She slept with me months ago. Everyone knows that. HA HA!"

—Control yourself!

[See Icarus and the Gutter Snipe]

[A physician giving you a long-winded explanation about your medical condition]

—A joke!

—Oh, goodie! – One thrill after another.

"How do you feel today? Do you feel suicidal?"

—A joke!

—Don't do too much or it'll kill you.

"Where do they teach you to talk like this, in some Panama City sailor-want-a-hump-hump bar, or is this getaway day and your last shot at his whiskey? – Sell crazy someplace else; we're all stocked up here."

—Cheap thrills.

—As you go along, you'll find cheap little shots are the meaning of life.

"I was totally not ready for the test, and I failed!"

—A joke!

—Remember, these people are all school teachers, and they got to be school teachers by toeing the line!

"DON'T LISTEN TO A WORD HE SAYS!" [Screamed from the window of a passing taxicab]

—You think it's cheaper?

—We don't know if it's psychological or what.

"Don't you listen?"

—You think it's cheaper?

—Don't be afraid to ask for support.

"It's not interacting with my computer, you fucking snot!"

—A joke!

—I must be crazy!

"Ooo! – You smell gay – I don't want to sit near you – You probably have AIDS."

—Cheap thrills.

—They say the more you move, the better it is.

"I'm really a nightclub person."

—A joke!

—What an extravagant place – Now I can die happy.

"So what moral can we extract from all this?"

—A joke!

—A lot of people don't have a sense of humor – I've been fighting against it my whole life.

"Don't get so uptight!"

—Cheap thrills.

—Just what you needed.

"We're just a bunch of bad brains."

—You think it's cheaper?

—All day and all night you want to kill someone.

"Do yourself a favor, mate."

—You think it's cheaper?

—It's a good rule: Don't try to improve your life; improve yourself. What many people call improving their life is a downward spiral.

"Why don't you get a fucking life instead of watching what I'm doing?"

—A joke!

—I never talked to you about Dr. Banana.

"I was fucking your wife all afternoon."

—Cheap thrills.

—Looks like I missed a lot of fun ... Did she ... lie around in bliss?


—You think it's cheaper?

—You're so sophisticated!

"And wipe that smile off your face!"

—Control yourself!

—No wonder you can't sleep at night.

"Go on! She's waiting for you!"

—Control yourself!

—There's a difference between having to do something, wanting to do something, and deciding to do something.

"I am just curious to know which nightclub she's from."

—Control yourself!

[See Icarus and the Gutter Snipe]

"Did she fuck?"

—Control yourself!

—Burning questions.
























ZINGERS: affect our inner atmosphere, in effect, poisoning it. So many forces in life are designed to make you forget you have your own individual life, and you have moments of experience in your life. The effect of an insult is to dislodge the rational. If you are oblivious to the moment-by-moment situation and to the people around you, you're a sitting duck. All insults are insults to consciousness, and to the extent they pass by unrecognized, to that extent a person is "unconscious." When you aren't using yourself, someone or something else is. The "friendly" insult? — Like "good old boys" polluting the river downstream — Why not use a "friendly" defense?

APPARENT: map of a person's awareness of life. To the extent a person is distracted by outer awareness (blaming others), to that extent a person is "unconscious" and without an inner life. If you realize the other person doesn't like you and has said something mean (because his parents didn't like him), you'll do fine. The other person is delusional. The other person learned anger is a solution to their problems. If you pretend the other person likes you, then you have to accept the insult, and in so doing, you hurt yourself. That's the pain you feel upon accepting an insult.

ACTUAL: map of a person's inner life. People are stuck in insults because they feel they have to be "good," that they can't talk back. —Don't grapple with anyone, they tell themselves. Why respond at all? (1) You are changing the subject; (2) You are proving to yourself and the other person you heard what they said and you can stand up to it; (3) Your tone of voice conveys your true feelings on the matter.

PURPOSE: to neutralize insult by sending back a verbal symbol with a double message: "I see the insult," and "I see the entire situation." Correctly state the other person's position. Then they will implicitly allow you to: (1) Change the dynamics; (2) Ignore their implications; (3) Create a new framework of communication based upon sincerity, mutual trust, and the commonality of human experiences. Just give them enough time (two weeks) and space to grow or expand (alone).







As follows

CODE WORDS: ago, authentic, brackets, bunch, Carolina, clean, connections, economy, eighty-eight, establishing, failed, failure, favor, final, four, fucking, f**king, invested, lacks, listen, memories, might, mirror, moral, motherf*ckers, near, nerve, nightclub, [physician], pick, reversed, [roar!], savory, schmuckums, shave, she, she's, speed, stocked, suicidal, unknowable, updates, uptight, virgins, weeks, whiskey, who'd, wipe, yawn


"Poop (stern)"

—Cheap thrills.