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Verbal abusers use make-believe, drama, irrational
sentence structures, sarcasm, intimidating tones of voice,
surprise, and time-tested clichés to bypass the intellect
and hit people squarely in the emotions, usually those of
a child. Verbal defenders use their attention and practiced
skills to well up the real feelings of an adult –
faith, hope, charity, kindness, compassion, creativity, and
a sense of humor. They blend two-word verbal tools so skillfully
into ordinary conversation, they often go unnoticed.
Try to see that verbal abusers are neither good nor bad. This
is a different order of things ... with different kinds
of people. Maybe forty-five percent are people of the id,
who have the ability to throw enormous outpourings of energy
into screwing, killing, and rage. Maybe forty-five percent
are people of the superego, who know just how to tighten the
screws to bring about punishment, criticism, and disassociation.
The final ten percent of humanity are people of the ego, who
use their minds as a lens to shuttle things inside themselves
where they're supposed to go. The first eighty-eight pages
of this book present four verbal tools each - Here are the
(88 * 4 =) 352 bridges once again, presented as a poem in
twelve irregular stanzas. Look for a hint of what's going
on, then a two-word bridge for restoring your balance. Babies
kick and scream, children master cruelty, adults take their
minds for a little walk.
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1.0
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So let's say someone asks you anything at all
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about your past, such as, "What did you
do last weekend? Kept yourself busy?"
For openers, you can simply respond, "—Nothing special."
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1.1
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Then another person says, "How's business?"
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and you reply, without much thought, "—Who knows?"
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1.2
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Finally, a third person chimes in, "How long
have
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you been driving a cab?" and just to keep from
going totally nuts, while maintaining the fine line
between professionalism and sticking up for yourself,
you put on a Southern drawl and deliver your line, "—Not
al-ways."
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Of course you don't have to say any of these things;
they are simply possibilities, to get past all the posturing
that goes on.
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1.0
past "busy"
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Nothing special. 87
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1.1
"business"
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Who knows? 22
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1.2
"long"
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Not always. 87
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1.3
"working"
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Don't laugh. 61
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1.4
squared away?
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Let's hope. 78
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1.5
I curse myself
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Must you? 53
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1.6
habits
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No rules. 60
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1.7
big deal, get real
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All along. 61
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1.8
sorry to bore you
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Not here! 84
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1.9
I'll remember
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It's chilling. 60
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1.10
the mundane
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Real old-fashioned. 28
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