Theory of

Taunts, Insults or Attacks

Codewords Inside Aggressive "Tricks"

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The Way Out





Patient refers to it as stargate-oh-two

A Bully.2






—No doubt.

—Very enriching.

—Is it? Battling person.

—And? So? Then? More?




The Authority of the Select Few — Exploits our feelings we are aristocrats at heart by drawing us to intimations of prestige or exclusivity – What is the most powerful thing on earth? – Water, because water can fill anything.





[bushwhacking & public humiliation] - Snobbery & Hysteria - Big shots & Competition - If you don't know quite what to say, the other person may be withholding something, trying to make you feel jealous - What they're withholding is warmth - What is the most wonderful thing on earth? - Nothing, because nothing can have everything.

The Age of Domination, ages 0-3




Exactly what someone said [or did]
... usually not very original.

The thoughts of a "bad child"
... to free your mind again.




"There are people who have lived for centuries."

—And? So? Then? More?

—It's a big thing to be able to contribute to the culture ... to expand and enrich the culture.

"It's got all these things going on all the time – a cornucopia." [Trying to sound smart, without actually saying anything]

—Very enriching.

—The hard road to the soft side.

"It sent me over the edge."

—And? So? Then? More?

—Could you put the word "further" in there?

"So it's a study of nastiness then." [This website]

—Is it? Battling person.

—It's learning how to get away with being yourself, whether anyone likes it or not.

"Richard Ames Hart."

—No doubt.

His idea.

"Will you step outside please?" [From a manager]

—And? So? Then? More?

—I'm here to help you.

"Well, you're feeding them." [The birds, mice, rats, squirrels and probably spiders who forage beneath the bird feeder]

—Very enriching.

—Mean people can't stand it.

"I got your jacket, ha-ha!" [Group of boys taunting a young girl on the playground]

—Is it? Battling person.

—Okay, have it back by seven!

"AOL for Broadband – Without It, You're Going Nowhere Fast."

—No doubt.

—I'm a crocodile.

"Odd. Maybe someone could understand this because I'm thinking ... er, verbal self-defense? Someone actually spent time making this? Maybe I should read more ... right after I take 2 Tylenol." [Link from Kate's Journal]

—No doubt.

—You know, you could be sick, but you don't have to act sick.

"Your confidence and self-esteem will soar."

—No doubt.

—You could go to Reno and get a divorce from yourself.

"You made one mistake."

—Is it? Battling person.

—When you're high socially, you can live on any level.

"You're the nastiest person I've ever met."

—No doubt.

—There must be one.

"You made a mistake."

—No doubt.

—It's a good place to start.

"Non-escalating Verbal Self-Defence - Just take a look at it, and tell me what you think. I find it a little confusing. If you know a better 'source' for verbal jousting techniques, tell us about it. Just think about it, knowing techniques to always have quick-witted comebacks, making people think twice about messing with you. I think it's a sweet idea. So far this is what I found, also Susan Haden Elgin. If you know more sources, share it with us all??" [Link from Yang Man, Senior Member, in chat room]

—Very enriching.

—I'm going to put something on it, I don't know ... maybe a gallows ... Because they can't see the puck when it's in front of them ... You might see some patterns, right? ... It'll take a little while ... It's like being in the wine business ... Write down whatever comes to your mind ... The circus is in town ... Go run away with the circus ... Sorry to bore you ... That's your fate ... Let's hope this continues.

"Well, maybe change your mind and try to not see any attacks, and let positive, non-reactive frame do the job..." [Comment by Ragz, Senior Member, in chat room]

—Very enriching.

—That's very serious ... Out of the past ... I'm going to give you some pills ... That's upside-down inside-out technique ... Maybe you have to rule the roost.

"This site is confusing as hell, and for no good reason. Just like this Feedback page is full of useless wisecracks. You don't ALWAYS have to use verbal jousting, unless you want to shut people out completely; there is a fine line between setting your limits and borders while still INTERACTING and COMMUNICATING with people, and perpetually rejecting anyone's attempt to understand you. And this is what you've done with this site, and that's too bad, because it has a lot of really great points. :-)"

—Is it? Battling person.

—I might have to change that ... People will come from all over the Midwest, and bring their kids, to see the truth ... As if anyone cares ... [What do you wish to understand about me, that I was butt-fucked at the age of two? Do you despise molested children, too, like my mother did? Just wondering. :-) Well, I'm sensitive to someone making demands on me, asking me to simply go along with them, not actually knowing who they are, without question. Without protest. I've been that way ever since I was a child.]

"That was your mistake."

—Is it? Battling person.

—One of the mysteries how you live without earning any money.

"Miss Corrigan, does this dissertation have any methodology?" (–Steven Marcus, Columbia English Department)

—Very enriching.

—Well, Professor, there is no method except to be very intelligent. (–Maureen Corrigan, Leave Me Alone, I'm Reading, p. xxx)

[Anything in a foreign language]

—Very enriching.

—Another language.

[People screaming in a foreign language]

—Very enriching.

—Hoping to right the wrongs of the world one day.

"Yarimashoo!" [Japanese innuendo for, "Let's do it!"]

—No doubt.

—You're right – We're going to do it.

"You want a punch in the nose?"

—Very enriching.

—Anyone can talk without their teeth ... You can't work in casinos if you're a jailbird.


—No doubt.

—Wears you out, huh?

"I was being facetious."

—No doubt.

—What are you doing now?

"Did you step in it?"

—Very enriching.

—I am alive – I am a living person.

"That's deep."

—Is it? Battling person.

—You have to be on the sidewalk for your head to be in the stars.

"We made so many mistakes bringing you up."

—No doubt.

—Sometimes our worst mistakes become our most masterful works of art.

"What the hell kind of game are you playing?"

—Is it? Battling person.

—Alcohol: It does so much for you and asks for so little in return.

"You're no better than anyone else."

—No doubt.

—You don't want to play God.

"You have six months to live."

—And? So? Then? More?

—I can do it in three!

"Are you sure you don't want to be someone else? Otherwise, you're stuck with yourself."

—Very enriching.

—You have to know where you can get away with it.

"What if no one visits your website?"

—And? So? Then? More?

—Just like a tree.

"That's really f-ing bizarre!! The guys obviously spend AGES writing the thing as well. I actually thought it had something to do with what DaveT was trying to say about assertive verbal, but it just goes off on a tangent and doesnt make any sence at all. Very weird!" [Link from message board]

—Is it? Battling person.

—I don't want you to work too hard.

"Life is confusing."

—Is it? Battling person.

—Unless you can run really fast!

"Am I confusing you already?"

—No doubt.

—Do you know what really makes the time pass?

"It's too confusing."

—Is it? Battling person.

—Hold this stick.

"There's one thing that baffles me."

—And? So? Then? More?

—Don't tell it to turn into a snake!

"Now that is really confusing. Can anyone make any sense of it all?"

—Is it? Battling person.

—It's nicer than it was.

"I read it twice, thought it was written in bloody Klingon or something .. then gave up."

—No doubt.

—Not true, not true.

"You'll work with me."

—Very enriching.

—On a really good sunny day.

"You can't just one day say I'm going to be a filmmaker and jump right into it."

—And? So? Then? More?

—Their inconvenience is not my concern.

"Hi all I had quite a look at it and couldn't work out most of it. Still has some interesting replies to common insults. Duncan."

—Very enriching.

—You reach a plateau and you have to go down or go up – It's better to go down.

"Weird?! Come on what do u expect from the Gapfather your part of the family now baba bing!! Don't worry eventually u lot will be as odd as me Silly Jedi hehe."

—Very enriching.

—Have no expectations. Accept the best.

"Isn't she pretty?"

—No doubt.

—Trapping heat.

"It's pretty far."

—Is it? Battling person.

—That's okay by me!

"But you have such a pretty face."

—No doubt.

—What is there not to like?

"Oh, you'll never figure it out."

—And? So? Then? More?

—I can do that – It's not that hard to do.

"You'll never finish it."

—And? So? Then? More?

—Look at those bottomless wallets!

"You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you'll find one."

—Very enriching.

—It's very Egyptian.

"I'll just let you stew in your own juices."

—Very enriching.

—We have a special today.

"You'll understand when you're older."

—Very enriching.

—That's what waiting tables is all about – Waiting! Waiting!

"Camel Filters: They're not for everyone."

—No doubt.

—Famous animal friends.

"Only one grape in fifty grows up to become a great champagne."

—Is it? Battling person.

—You're not educated, because you weren't born at the right time.

["It's really a question of family influence: for instance, my son read six books over Christmas vacation."] "Well, now you're putting ME down – and my cousin."

—No doubt.

—You're trying to throw me off my case.
























Bringing It All Together

I'd like to weave a little magic, cast a spell. When I was fifteen years old, an eight-year-old girl appeared at my door. She was naked.

"Oh, hi!" she said. She was standing in the open doorway to the bathroom my sisters and I shared. They had a door on the other side.

"You don't have any clothes on!" one of my sisters called out. All three of them had just taken a bath, and their guest had decided to explore. A hand reached out with a white towel, which this little girl held in front of her.

"That's my brother's room!" one of my sisters called out. I was a high-school football player, and my hormones were starting to stir. She came into my room to look around, and as she talked, lowered the towel.

"Come on, you're naked!" a sister said, as she walked into my room without any clothes on, too! They laughed and goofed around like at a party, and after a lingering visit, which couldn't have lasted more than ten minutes, scooted back their way. That wasn't so taboo back in 1961.

Life has real magic, and the farther you look back into childhood, the greater the spell. Some people use religion to contact those earliest memories — of beauty, hope and compassion — standing awestruck again inside themselves, within the majesty of a Cathedral or Holy Temple, as they did at the age of five or six.

Some people read, discovering books such as P. D. Ouspensky's In Search of the Miraculous or Idries Shah's The Sufis. I remember another experience, much earlier, when my mother and stepfather took me to a mountain resort in North Carolina for five days. They had horseback riding and canoeing there. One evening, just before dusk, I found myself down by a field swarming with fireflies, each blinking a fluorescent green or white at ten- to fifteen-second intervals, and a shallow cove enclosed by exotic trees, with a pond, or stream even further down. There were canoes with couples setting out — and I was shooed off to bed.

Twelve years later, when I was a high-school Senior, about to set off for college, my mother said, "Let's go out to the hardware store." It was a spring evening, just after supper, and the two of us drove to a newly opened mall adjoining a public library. I remember going into the library and finding a book on "Humorous Anecdotes for Public Speakers." This was really one of the few experiences I had with my mother as a friend, as opposed to personal trainer, and as I gazed through the book I had the curious impression I was experiencing some part of myself I would become. The two of us laughed and enjoyed the warm spring weather, until we folded our friendship, and fell back into the machine.

It's as if all of life is a huge machine, characterized by tension. The second anyone begins to escape from the machine, other people almost desperately try to steal our attention, saying things like, "Oh, dear!" — propagating fear and intimidation, or simply inundating us with the mundane — "How was your week?"

The tension is all pervasive. We carry it in the very fiber of our muscles, in our memories from toilet training, in the way we walk, talk, think and even feel. For many people, the tension has become so habitual and familiar, it has become transparent. That is, they think the tension is themselves. They do not see the parts of themselves which they mistakenly buried when they were very young as mystical treasures. They see the dreams they have at night as "frightening" or "weird" nightmares, not understanding these are the faintest manifestations of their true essence — an otherworldly call for help.

Some people can step aside. They grasp that the deep tensions prohibiting them from producing brown feces at a business meeting, are the same tensions that keep their essence locked in a dark cavern, for fear it will say something honest.

Clairvoyance carried on a whisper, Jesus could see into men's hearts, "I'm not a girl — I'm a woman!"

There are these schools. I'm not sure if you find them, or if they find you. Once inside, you find yourself finding yourself, contacting the part of you that dreams at night. Becoming yourself. Almost all of life wants you to forget yourself, to get ahead, get an education, get a job, get money, get laid. Nowhere (outside of sleeping at night) do you find yourself experiencing yourself, liking yourself, being yourself. Except in these schools, sometimes called "real schools," something in you begins to grow, to reach for yourself, to be yourself.

Don't forget I said that. Even when you are listening to jazz on KCSM, FM 91.1, hearing a woodwind circling the treetops, carrying the rhythm, while something else, maybe a flute, soars high across the sea. It's not just the music. It's not thoroughly an escape. Something in you can take flight and grow once again.

Ideas such as this weren't so taboo in the olden days.

Next morning, in a giant, warm wet spot, I discovered the point of no return.







As follows

CODE WORDS: :-), alert, Ames, anyone, aristocratic, assertive, baba bing, baffles, centuries, champagne, confusing, copying, cornucopia, Dave, deep, edge, facetious, feeding, filmmaker, filters, [foreign], frame, game, Good Samaritan, ha-ha, insults, Jedi, jousting, juices, Klingon, [language], lovely, methodology, mistake, mistakes, months, nastiest, nastiness, non-reactive, nose, nowhere, otherwise, plagiarism, plagiarizing, pretty, putting, quick-witted, rejecting, replies, reunion, soar, soul-searching, step, stool, super, tangent, Tylenol, useless, visits, willingly, yarimashoo, [yawn], you'll, zeitgenossen


"Air pump"

—And? So? Then? More?