|
|
||||||
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
||||||
|
|
|
|
TRICKS |
WINGS |
IDEAS |
|
"Maybe it's no good." [This website] |
So wrong! |
If you can't pay attention to details, you can't drive a car ... If you can't pay attention to details, you can't get a driver license ... Learn something and recite it ... Learn some things by heart ... And you can say it when someone's yelling at you ... Maybe it will improve your inner position ... Let them scream their heads off ... You're just learning something ... "Excuse me, I'm memorizing something!" |
|
"Why is 42 the answer to everything?" |
Midnight Special. |
Room 237. |
|
"Hi, how's your day today?" [From a stranger on the street] :: WildCard-5 |
War souvenirs. |
For keeps? |
|
"How's it going?" |
Midnight Special. |
It's either chew gum or kick ass! |
|
"You'll get your chance in a moment I'm still speaking." (Mitt Romney in the televised presidential debate, October 16, 2012) :: WildCard-10 |
War souvenirs. |
Cut back! ... What about Silence of the Lambs? |
|
"You know I don't agree with all the people who support me and my guess is they don't all agree with everything I believe in. But I need to get 50.1 percent or more and I'm appreciative to have the help of a lot of good people." (Mitt Romney) |
War souvenirs. |
Just an adornment. |
|
"What does it say about the college coed Susan Fluke [sic], who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid to have sex? What does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex." (Rush Limbaugh attacking Sandra Fluke on a radio program broadcast on February 29, 2012) |
War souvenirs. |
It has nothing to do with sex. |
|
"She was having so much sex, it's amazing she can still walk. ... She was having sex so frequently that she can't afford all the birth-control pills that she needs." (Rush Limbaugh) |
So wrong! |
That's all you can have on this earth the desert wind, and the tinkle of the camel bell. |
|
"You get paid for this?" |
Midnight Special. |
Sooner or later everyone has to light a fire under their own stove. |
|
"You paid for it?" |
Money laundering? |
You can't just count money twenty-four hours a day. |
|
"You're going to laugh at me? You can laugh at me for a while." |
Midnight Special. |
What am I going to do next? |
|
"To me it showed her brittleness, her coldness, her spoiling for a fight. She's so good at this war machine stuff, it's sad." (Representative Jim Cooper, referring to Hillary Clinton) |
War souvenirs. |
A lot of people will kill to get a job, and that's who gets them. |
|
Midnight Special. |
What a smarty! Join the Nazi Party! |
|
|
"Food is good." |
So wrong! |
Turkeys don't vote for Thanksgiving! |
|
"How's it going there?" |
Midnight Special. |
And then you get an eye patch It's a bargain! Maybe not as good, but who cares? Do I know you from somewhere? Have we met? |
|
[A long-winded joke] |
Midnight Special. |
Words fail me. |
|
"That's one of the things that shocked me, that everybody runs to the front and bottles things up." [After watching East Coast drivers race past even after signs make it clear that a lane is about to close ahead] |
So wrong! |
Different people have different ideas. |
|
"You have a good day there." |
Midnight Special. |
Go for it, man! Knock yourself out. |
|
"You be good." |
Money laundering? |
Pretty natural It's hard to tell. |
|
"It's working like a charm!" |
So wrong! |
I will save all my money for the Lord. |
|
"But there's one thing ... Well, it shouldn't be ... the tables aren't even." |
So wrong! |
Hanging on to your money tight, huh? |
|
"Leadership matters." |
So wrong! |
Slowly everyone gets to know you. |
|
"Is Aaron alright?" |
Midnight Special. |
Maybe get a tin can with a string that goes nowhere, and I'll get a tin can with a string that goes nowhere, and we can talk! |
|
"It's so sad." |
War souvenirs. |
You might have it elevated, right? |
|
["I'm a throwback."] "It's good to know yourself." [Condescendingly] |
So wrong! |
I'm in solidarity with dogs and angry children. |
|
"You're a sad little man." (Catholic Bishop Richard Lennon to Joe Cultrera, who is filming Hand of God out on the street, May 19, 2004) |
War souvenirs. |
All these revivals and traditions are on the way out ... It's all evaporating ... Anyone who believes in God somewhere down deep believes They're God. |
|
"Ralph, you're a cynic." |
So wrong! |
Living proof. |
|
"I'm a cynic." |
War souvenirs. |
Expect the worst. |
|
"You're friggin' me out, man!" |
War souvenirs. |
Why get stuck in one place? |
|
"Those dogs are off-leash. They're supposed to be on a leash. They're running in that field over there." [These people appear out of nowhere] |
Midnight Special. |
Did anyone ever choke you? |
|
[Noticeably greasy door knobs & dishes, different from sweaty hands and feet, or "palmer hyperhidrosis," a mild symptom of diabetes] |
So wrong! |
Somebody's probably using some hair product, or rubbing in a lot of foot lotion at night, and don't know they're getting it all over the place. |
|
"You've got some bird shit on the window." |
War souvenirs. |
I'd call it more than sentiment I'd call it green passion! |
|
"That was so funny, I forgot to laugh." |
So wrong! |
In a way we can't even imagine. |
|
"Don't laugh at me." |
Midnight Special. |
You just made me forget what I wanted to say. |
|
"I hope my window is still there." |
So wrong! |
Out of sight, out of mind. |
|
"How did your seminar go?" |
So wrong! |
Well, the more books you read, the more you can earn a living ... not in the short run ... you learn how to get around. |
|
"What's your schedule this week?" |
War souvenirs. |
Why should we be cheap? |
|
"What does your schedule look like?" |
War souvenirs. |
Can't imagine. |
|
"You're hebephrenic." |
Money laundering? |
There was an office the size of a pirate ship. |
|
"How's that business doing for you?" |
Midnight Special. |
It's all right if you feel hurt. |
|
"Did you have a good day?" |
Midnight Special. |
Unlimited fuel. |
|
"Reminds me of the Catholic church." [Link from The Brandon Abell Experience] |
Money laundering? |
Uh, boring. |
|
"A quaint hacker." |
War souvenirs. |
It must have been somebody else. |
|
"Quaint." |
War souvenirs. |
You know, profit comes from low overhead. |
|
"A no-brainer." |
War souvenirs. |
A longing for success and frequent experience with failure. |
|
"You could make a contribution to the Irish Peace Settlement." |
So wrong! |
They go through stages. |
|
"But instead, I'm here with you no offense but a moron pushing the last legal drug." |
War souvenirs. |
Maybe when you go out at night, good things can happen. |
|
"So how's it going with the girl you're after?" |
So wrong! |
|
|
"How's Havi?" |
So wrong! |
What about you? |
|
"My last boyfriend had a big one." |
War souvenirs. |
Let's see who has the nicest one. |
|
"I'm impressed." |
War souvenirs. |
If that's what you want to call it. |
|
"Are you getting psyched?" |
War souvenirs. |
I don't know what's going to happen. |
|
War souvenirs. |
It's starting to come out. |
|
|
"That was a sad movie." |
War souvenirs. |
How little we know. |
|
"Naked eleven-year-old girls are really great!" |
War souvenirs. |
Selling third-world hoo-hahs. |
|
"Oh, noisy!" |
Midnight Special. |
It isn't any more. |
|
"You're too noisy in the house!" |
War souvenirs. |
Just another person. |
|
["I'm waiting for life to help me."] "An opening." |
War souvenirs. |
Sophisticated, huh? |
|
Midnight Special. |
The wand chooses the wizard. |
|
|
"Tire's no good! You don't look in the morning, huh?" |
Midnight Special. |
Just before. |
|
"You're a good man." |
Money laundering? |
Wait until Halloween, that's all I can say. |
|
"Now be good." |
War souvenirs. |
I'll have to look at my calendar. |
|
"Oh, that's good." |
So wrong! |
No, no! It's just nutty. |
|
Money laundering? |
San Francisco! And so forth. |
|
|
["HOW ARE YOU DOING?" "All right."] "GOOD!" |
War souvenirs. |
That's it A little extra comes in handy. |
|
"You're good!" |
Midnight Special. |
Words don't say anything. |
|
"That's good!" |
War souvenirs. |
It's good enough. |
|
"Damn, I'm good!" |
Midnight Special. |
There's no such thing as bad. |
|
"Good to hear." |
Midnight Special. |
You can just say You don't have to be vague. |
|
"Good!" |
Money laundering? |
How good can a person be? |
|
"If the proposal be sound, would the Saxon have passed it by? Would the Dane have ignored it? Would it have escaped the wisdom of the Norman?" |
Midnight Special. |
Buy the book and find out. |
|
"Gee, Havi, I didn't know you had executive powers." |
Midnight Special. |
There's not much to do. |
|
"That's good to know I won't call them." |
Money laundering? |
They're still in business. |
|
"Increase the volume of your ejaculation." |
War souvenirs. |
Do you think the holidays have anything to do with it? |
|
"Don't look at me like that It makes me feel uncomfortable." |
Midnight Special. |
Because you're pretty? Because you're smart? |
|
"Okay, Mister Pacifist." |
Money laundering? |
Something much more efficient. |
|
"Good-bye It's been original." |
Midnight Special. |
Just be present to yourself That's all you have to do around a baby. |
|
"Nice talking to you, Richard You're a nice laugh." |
So wrong! |
Why should I walk on bugs? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
27-JUL-1999.
Other People's Parents
|
"How's Havi?" Havi's mother asked Virginia. |
(Leave me out of it!) |
|
Virginia felt frightened, not so much by the question itself, but by the ominous silence that followed. What was Havi's mother calling Virginia for? What business did anybody's mother have calling her daughter's friends? When somebody who is older than you calls you up and goes through the pretense of being friendly, it doesn't necessarily mean they are being harmonious or judicious. I mean, when was the last time you met a really wise parent? They're really treating you like an imbecile. They might as well be saying, "How's Havi, you moron?" |
|
|
Other people's mothers and other people's fathers can be especially treacherous, so it's well to prepare yourself in advance. On another occasion somebody's mother asked one of my nieces, "It must be so hard for you since your parents got a divorce." Real sympathy, right? |
|
On Liking Something
Liking something is worth much more than What's good for you.
Because what's doing the liking?
You have to decide what's worth more, you or your parents.
You're not a nun You can listen to yourself.
15-MAY-2013.
|
|
As follows
CODE WORDS: 42, Aaron, appreciative, bottles, Catholic, charm, contribution, cynic, despair, drug, ejaculation, friggin', glad, good, [greasy], how's, impressed, laugh, leadership, [long-winded], naked, no-brainer, noisy, off-leash, opening, original, pacifist, paid, pills, powers, psyched, reminds, runs, quaint, sad, schedule, seminar, sound, speaking, tables, uncomfortable, [whistle], window
|