"You're one day late."

—You can't be wise and in love at the same time ... There are two kinds of dogs – lap dogs and hound dogs – I just don't have any lap dog genes ... Are you plotting in front of my back?

"How many degrees do you have in computer science?"

—One's enough ... Not averse to doing different things ... It just makes you smarter, right? ... Do they have a plastic fish? ... Plumbing the depths with rigor.

"How many degrees do you have?"

—When are you going to Mexico? ... Smart people start their own businesses.

«Hidden perils of emotionally laden words»

—What you have to figure out is not how to solve things, but how to get out ... People are into provoking because it's free ... The first rule is, dodge! ... No one works for a rat ... Everyone should be very careful about being a hero ... You have to be very careful about punishing yourself.

"It's a little late in the game to be asking for this."

—After it dries ... It's just like rain ... In the absence of light darkness prevails ... What's the background of it? ... That's how you learn, by making mistakes ... A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

"I can't meet with you without specifics."

—We'll see what's left ... It's the circumstances around it ... That's real business, right? ... They're real geniuses ... It's amazing all the things you can get if you assertively and authoritatively demand it ... to carry you away! ... What are you going to call your baby? ... Practice? Vacation? Serious?

"Well, we're going to have to meet up in my office."

—Whatever makes sense ... No fruit is forbidden ... Right in the middle of the floor, right? ... Who gets the scrap rights? ... Palms are much cheaper ... It goes hand in hand.

"Hey, boss! You're late!"

—It's only an alarm clock ... They've got a little chip in the back of their head ... Maybe you can de-zombie zombies ... It'll get 'em! every time! ... What's next? The French Foreign Legion?

"Look what the cat dragged in."

—Don't eat anything you like.

"Good morning; you're late."

—I'm going to appoint you to be the timekeeper.

"So why were you late?"

—I'm a work in progress.

"You're late."

—No, I'm right on time.

"So you're late today, huh?"

—Look at the other side ... I promise that my timeliness will be surpassed only by my passion for quality ... Let me drop everything and work on your problem ... It's better than it was, you've got to admit it ... Always late but worth the wait ... Fashionably late ... There is no deeper way than this ... Living life with no sense of time ... "It gets late early out here." (–Lawrence Peter (Yogi) Berra) ... I think we could stretch this out a couple of months ... Yassle, yassle, time is fleeting! ... Time flies when you're goofing off ... Time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once ... I have no sense of time ... It's invisible ... so everyone sees it differently ... "Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac." (–George Carlin) ... My sense of time ... Hell, I'm a week behind ... I must have picked the wrong season to have come down ... I didn't realize this was sacred ground ... Is it late yet?

"You're late!"

—Even if it isn't true.

"Hey, you're late!"

—Better than playing with yourself in public.

"Are you playing with me? – How come you're late?"

—Not playing while you have diarrhea!

"When is your next appointment?"

—I don't want you to lose sleep.

"Tyler, it's your boyfriend!" [on the telephone]

—There's no one else for that.

[Someone trying to make you the butt of their joke]

—I really don't want to step on your toes.

"You know the difference between an asshole and a rectum? You can put your arm around an asshole." [Putting his arm around your shoulders]

—You're angry at your mother for not feeding you – That's what everyone's angry at.

"Why is it late?"

—We're doing the best we can.

"You're a little late." [Catching you by surprise]

—It depends on your plan.

"Then why did you come in so late?"

—It's in the contract – Small print.

"Well, why were you late?"

—Every reason!

"Why are you late?"

—It shortens the day.

"You're late today ... What's going on?"

—It's a strain.

"You're here late."

—It's getting later!

"You're late!" [from the office bully]

—Everything you thought about High School is true for eternity.

"Richard, we're too late!"

—If other people do it, it must stink! ... My golden rule.

"Why I shouldn't be late."

—You can't stop people from making money.

"Aren't you late?"

—On borrowed time.

"I can't believe you're fifteen minutes late!"

—You don't have to believe it if you don't want to.

"Good morning – You're late!"

—It's not early for me.

"I waited for you – You're late!"

—Does it hurt your feelings?

"What did you expect me to do while I was waiting?"

—Did you know Indians used to put their ear on the railroad track to hear if the train was coming?

"Look who just showed up – You're late!"

—That's everyone's trouble – They don't know the difference between then and now.

"Aren't you late for the meeting?"

—No, I'm early for the next one.

"I tried to phone you."

—Why were you early?

"Oh, yes ... Who is the new science editor of The New York Times, that twerpy little girl in short skirts?" (Cornelia Dean)

—Oh, silky hair.

"Are you a beginner?"

—The devil is in the details.

"You've got some loose ends here."

—Sit on a happy face.

"Tu es un retard dans la tête." [Fr: "You're late in the head."]

—I'll meet with you next Wednesday and let you know.

"I believe it has something to do with avoiding a fight by confusing your opponent via saying random things."

—You're not supposed to bleed; you're not supposed to feel bad; people have a right to know what's inside them, what's bothering them.

"I'm brain-dead at this point."

—You're working very hard at a thankless job.

"It's frustrating."

—The best is yet to come.

"Why did you let me do it?"

—That's the danger of a strong person – You can do anything!

"Come and stand in the front of the class and pull up your dress."

—I'm going to build a good case! Cutty Sark!

"Show me what you're reading!"

—It's WORSE if you just go along with the herd.

"Let me see that!"

—Get tough!

—Can you believe it?

"They're all criminals."

—Well, you're looking at one.

—That's interesting to see, isn't it?

"Listen, darling, if you want to look like a slapper and a whore and dress like a tart, it's up to you, but don't expect me to do it, too." (–Yvonne Ridley)

—Because nobody cares – Of course! No one wants that – What do we care?

"Here – Buy yourself a wig."

—Do you know that's ALL some people have?

"Can I buy your tie?"

—It's better than a degree from Harvard.

"You're overdressed."

—Thank you for dropping by.

"Lose the tie!"

—The world isn't ready.

"Protecting your ass, huh?"

—A dull cog in the machinery of life.