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CLINIC

PATIENT

DIAGNOSTIC

Patient refers to it as stargate-five-seven

A Crackpot.1

Teasing.3

 

TOOLSET

INFORMAL FALLACY

 

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—AND WHY?

Mixed it up! 

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

Moxie's

Disease

 

Fallacy of the Rhetorical Question — Creates a puffed-up effect — An idea expressed without much warmth, posed in the form of a question, with no answer ordinarily expected – They make you feel lonely –  They say a lot of things they don't have to say – They say things they think they're supposed to say – You never know what they're going to do – It hurts a lot – (We just say the worst things we can think of ... Mama has a dead chicken she talks to.)

 

NOTES TO MYSELF

PSYCHOLOGICAL AGE

CLASS

[rhetorical spin & lampooning] - These people almost always steer the conversation out of the Land of Meaning into the Land of Meaninglessness, often by spinning wordplay - No matter what anybody says, there's a way to break the spell - They get you going - A woman came upon a woman spinning around on the beach; "Come closer!" she said; As she come closer, she started spinning, too, and the woman who had been spinning walked away, leaving the unknowing one spinning in her place - On the outside, no matter what happens, you can dodge it - They just want to know if someone can cool it and play the game - (On the inside, what everyone is afraid of is inside them - People tend to be afraid of what they don't understand.)

The Age of Detachment, ages 16-19

Murder

 

 
 
 
 
 

Exactly what someone said [or did]
... usually not very original.

The thoughts of a "bad child"
... to free your mind again.

TRICKS

WINGS

IDEAS

"Don't forget your man-purse!"

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—My satchel.

«élitism»

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—One of the most important skills in life is knowing that you should stay away from many kinds of people – always! ... When a person finds a certain part of himself, he can participate in his own life and ride the winds. Once you find that place, you can never forget it in the sense that you never lose the knowledge that 2 + 2 = 4. What may hide that place from you is the illusion that only your mother can make you a sandwich and that you can't betray to anyone the observation that your own mother is nuts, to put it lightly ... Whenever you find yourself missing something, turn to yourself ... Possession is slavery, but everything is set up so people won't realize this. Being the big shot or king is the most slavery of all. The taxi driver, or little free one, is generally despised ... Most happiness comes from not having expectations ... Many people's rule is to eat the black sandwich.

"You're not scary!" [Push!]

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

Try me! ... Go home and kick your mother! ... Some people make a federal case of it!

"These guys are faggots." [Three guys passing two guys on the street]

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

Tough titties! ... That wasn't smart ... If you can walk, why prove you can walk?

"What are you going to do about it?"

—AND WHY?

—Stop for a minute! I'm going to cry ... Take it easy with that hand – I don't want you smashing people anymore! ... That's very Irish! Get some rest! ... They must be shaking! ... I've done everything right so far ... I'll make it simple ... It doesn't matter what you say as long as you say something ... I couldn't care less ... Do you enjoy being dicked around? ... I know you will find this hard to believe, but I couldn't care less ... Do you like confrontation? ... Do you really like being dicked around? ... Sorry, I lost my camel ... He's afraid to crush his aggression ... Up front and dumb ... THAT's the secret ... Something small ... They hoard nuts, chère ... With no help! ... (When I was a kid, they didn't say much, you know what I mean? Where I lived, no one was too obvious. Next time call the police.) [See also stargate41]

"Don't cut off your nose to spite your face."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—What's it like?

"Cab driving? A monkey could do that job."

—Mixed it up!

—If you go away, the problem goes away.

«Verbal comebacks when someone calls you a monkey»

—Mixed it up!

—Because you're obviously not! ... I'm just talking about tonight ... Keep your knife under the pillow, just in case ... What about stealing things? ... When I start to itch! ... [Scratch your armpit] ... It's nice to have a choice ... Who's dragging you? ... Stop trying to drag me! ... Taunting, misleading, and relentless ignorance ... You are such a tough dog ... Oh, yeah, you are the tough dog ... Ready to pounce again, right? ... Just remember – Keep a knife under your pillow ... Of course you don't get it! ... It's like being in a hotel lobby ... Don't tease doggies and don't tease anyone bigger than you ... "Having my own life" had a struggle with "monkey see, monkey do," and "monkey see, monkey do" won! ... Who pays? ... How's your light? ... What color is it? ... Honesty without compassion is brutality ... Who pays? ... It's all honesty ... If you have to lie, how can you learn anything? ... Maybe they lied to you ... When someone's very insecure, they want to run things ... When they attack you, your mind moves with them ... If you don't expect them to like you, what can they do? ... Their solution to self-loathing is to try to appear larger than life ... A balloon with a hole is like a brain without words .. & ? % $ # ! ... Where is the home of happiness? ... Where, inside you, does the spark of joy reside? ... I think it's a reasonable question ... There's a shortcut – What you do is get a person to see what they're not ... The best fighter is the one who knows how to step aside ... The best general is the one who knows where the enemy is ... The best fighter is the one who never fights ... Aren't you interested in truth? ... We're made of our past ... The truth is beyond what you understand ... Let it go and pay attention to your freedom ... Everyone's on the right path ... I was this week, anyway ... It's the path of understanding ... You don't have to do it right ... Do it any way ... Smarter than them turns out to be evil ... Two armies clashing by night in a storm ... The sea is calm tonight, but across the calm two armies clash by night ... You know, when you're seventy, it's all meaningless ... Luckily I could run and laugh at the same time ... THE MONKEY LOST SIGHT OF FREEDOM! ... It's wonderful when you learn when you're little ... You can say anything you want! ... "I'm old enough to know better, but I'm still too young to care!" ... You can't control someone else's behavior, but you can control how you respond to it ... To some extent ... Just like a cat! ... Preverbal is not weird! ... The minute you get burned, run cold water on it ... It's called the house of flying knives ... Never go to war, especially with yourself ... Why be like your parents? ... Be like Bernard Shaw, Shakespeare, Sigmund Freud or Fellini ... From Brasil where the nuts come from! ... Is somebody washing their armpits? ... In India everyone accepts everything ... It's not the nice guys who finish last; it's the tough guys ... Trying to understand yourself eliminates a lot of problems ... It's that simple ... Whatever the task, be it doing your laundry or getting a girlfriend, see that as the cherry in the bottle ... Let it go ... Pay attention to your freedom.

"I'm sorry ... What did you say? ... What did you say?" [Belligerently]

—Mixed it up!

—Are you tired of helping people?

"And what about gay guys? Any gay guys on the 49ers?" (–Artie Lange, January 28, 2013 :: You have to be careful; 49ers cornerback Chris Culliver wasn't prepared for this kind of trickery)

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Kicking back! ... There's options ... Top shelf! ... I'm waiting ... Did you make a wish?

["Those were scary times."] "These are scary times, too."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—People are so hard; they're so repressed.

"Scary."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Sorrow.

"You don't know where that is? – That's scary."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Having a good mind in this culture is a handicap.

"It's scary, isn't it?"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—It's magical.

"I agree with [President Obama]. He points out he did not cause the recession, but he did make it worse. And he says, well, look, things are getting better. And I sure hope they're getting better. Gosh, I hope they're getting better. But that's not because of him. That's in spite of him." (–Mitt Romney, April 18, 2012)

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—God bless him. That's fantastic. Some people just need to be on deck, don't they? There's nothing wrong with that. No, there's nothing wrong with that at all – with being a character.

"You know what?"

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—Only what you've told me.

"Life is very lonely when you are always right."

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—Just don't put a fountain in my back yard.

"Look what you did."

—Mixed it up!

—The first time ... Design: Intelligence made visible ... You can do anything with your mind.

"There's nothing going on now, is there?"

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—Working hard at nothing all day ... I'm self-employed.

"There's nothing to talk about."

—Mixed it up!

—You know about the negative transference, huh?

"What have we learned?"

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—I think for Christmas I'm going to get a train from Costco.

"Meaning?"

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—Who knows? What I think is nothing ... You don't want to give people too many choices.

"Don't pick anybody up – It could be the lonely stranger who badly needs a friend."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

Joy: It's not a gift of god, it's something you can produce ... What is the pearl washed up on the ocean of existence? ... You don't guard against it ... You understand it ... Then it becomes a minor thing ... The cost of covering it up is a life ... You don't really do anything ... You allow the layers of your onion to fall off ... Until what's left is you ... You shouldn't make fun of someone ... No, I call myself a southern scoundrel ... Southern, right?

"I know the first thing you're going to do – You're going to try to ruin it."

—Mixed it up!

—That'll keep me busy – looking, looking! – It's better to feel the trauma.

"Like what?"

—Mixed it up!

—Once you know one, you know 'em all.

"So what's going on?"

—AND WHY?

—In Dead Horse, Alaska.

"I want you to play a great game of basketball, kid!"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—They have little power games they play to feel important.

"I am confident that I will get her votes if I am the nominee; it is not clear that she would get the votes I got, if she were the nominee." (–Barack Obama, referring to Hillary Clinton)

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—The scoop on him is, he's a total liar, and he's a professional.

"Are you trying to be a talk-show host, or what?" [Student to Professor of Journalism]

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—That's nothing! – In two years I'm going to enlist in the Israeli Army as a cross-eyed sniper.

"Professor Holmberg is a great editor." [Anonymous course evaluation]

—AND WHY?

—I never do things right the first time, but I do on the second, especially if it's pancakes!

"Nothing really matters to me."

—AND WHY?

—There are people who like to build castles in the air ... like where have all the holocausts gone?

"I know what's going on."

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—Even when it's bad.

"I learned nothing from this class." [Anonymous course evaluation]

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—You don't know what you're dealing with here – You think you're dealing with people of reason.

"I did not learn anything in this class besides a strong dislike of The N.Y. Times. There was no journalistic background taught." [Anonymous course evaluation]

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—I wish everyone was like you – It's very good to have other things to do – even reading.

"Fuck you! I don't do what you tell me."

—AND WHY?

—I think that should be encouraged.

"Professor Holmberg is the worst professor I've had at N.Y.U." [Anonymous course evaluation]

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Nice atmosphere – Maybe a few more people will quit and we'll have peace and quiet around here.

[Tribal (and frightening) scream from a passing car]

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—"Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis." (–Ralph Waldo Emerson)

"Surely a mumbled 'cockfarmer' is all that's needed in most situations?" [Link from ilXor.com]

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—Real ones, too, believe me.

"What's going on?"

—AND WHY?

—Take time, or time will not be taken ... If you didn't spend so much time drinking, you would know.

"So how long is this construction supposed to go on?"

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—There's just so much you can't keep up with.

"I love the quizzical look people give me: What the fuck are you talking about, Juda?"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—No one can see through another person's eyes.

"Have you really tried to look for a job? Where did you go?"

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—How do you do? My name is Sebastian? [Claw] ... These people are not on the up-and-up ... They're biased.

"The postman always rings twice."

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—They want to keep control over people.

"As you can guess, unfortunately, I'm going to be using a credit card."

—Mixed it up!

—I'm not that bad.

"No fighting today?"

—Mixed it up!

—They want to live large.

"And what are you doing tomorrow?"

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—Rock and roll!

"I know exactly what you're thinking."

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—What comes next? Nobody knows, huh?

"I don't know what I'm doing here; I don't even want to be talking to you." [She's sitting across from you at a cocktail party, proving she's not wearing underpants]

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Be jealous of your attention, and greedy for beautiful impressions.

"How do I deal with conversations I find boring?"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Sounds like a painting, doesn't it? – I'm glad you have a sense of humor about it – Ask yourself in situations like that, what am I afraid of? – They want long discussions just to torture you – Just realize, you don't have to – If you live in the jungle, why not get to know the animals? – Isn't that great?Olive drab scratchy wool blankets – Inside you can try to have fine feelings, fine sensations – There's a lot of jungle! They don't call it jungle anymore ... They call it forest – Full of trees gone to seed – Very old stuff – I'm thinking I might – You could feel hate without expressing it – It's like hunter's vision – All animals love sugar – Cats are different – It's like horses ... they love sugar – Well, look at it this way ... Don't ever bite a grape!

"What's the occasion?"

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—You're not missing anything.

"Going out?"

—Mixed it up!

—How or why I don't know.

"What street are you going to?"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—A lot of pressure.

"What up?"

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—It's all fluid and crazy and stupid.

"Nobody move, please. We are going back to the airport. Don't try to make any stupid moves ... We have some planes ... Just stay quiet and you'll be okay. We are returning to the airport." [Recorded voice on hijacked American Airlines Flight 11 before it was crashed into the World Trade Center]

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Cell phones ... It's open season.

"Maybe I could do that if I had thirty years of experience."

—Mixed it up!

—Probably you can replace the tension with words.

"Do you know what?"

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—You'll catch on – It just takes time.

"Guess what?"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—It's the only game in town.

"What about mind reading?"

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—Sycamore and elm.

"You have to guess."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—People miss out if they only see the surface.

"You're doing good, I guess."

—Mixed it up!

—Making money is tantamount to making shit.

"What a beautiful day, David. Why aren't you smiling?"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Past a certain point there's no reason to.

"What happened to your hand?" [To avoid "the iron grip," you're shaking hands with your left hand]

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—It's so warped and twisty, who cares?

"What makes you so special?"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Total recall.

"Listen to another person – You already know what you know."

—Mixed it up!

—What did the insane hot dog man say? (Make me one with everything!)

"What did I do now?"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Did it shine in the dark?

"What do you do to get a nice girlfriend like that?"

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—And then some.

"What is the right way to kiss a girl?"

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—I think it's from the grapes.

"Be careful what you wish for!"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Rules are rules.

"What is the meaning of life?"

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—Life has no meaning ... Life is an experience ... "It's man's purpose on earth to express himself, to bring form to thoughts, and to discover meaning in experience." (–Calvin & Hobbes)

"What does that tell you?"

—Mixed it up!

—I guess that's it.

"So what?"

—Mixed it up!

—The best revenge is a good life.

"WHAT!?" [She's wearing a microskirt]

—Not bad enough. Unless..

TOO HOT! ... I'm sure I don't know.

"What!? ... What!?"

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—And how about in your refrigerator?

"Oh, boy, you're going to get some hot pussy tonight!" [Street person trailing you and your date after you've seen a play in a seedy theater district]

—Not bad enough. Unless..

Any tips? ... Didn't he have a great technique?

"What is that?"

—Mixed it up!

—Do you need antlers?

"This is exactly what I'm talking about."

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—I had a very warped childhood.

"You know what they say."

—Mixed it up!

—What a combination!

"There's no love in this house." [Six-year-old Megan, a bright young girl in Scotland, to her mother]

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Is anyone bad to you? Nobody in school is bad to you?

"I miss daddy."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Trying to drum up business maybe.

"I miss you."

—Mixed it up!

—Hundreds of times – A little bit, a little bit, a little bit – And birds. And squirrels – I was thinking of a swan – So you have to have a tunnel – Keeps things from spiraling too fast.

"Why don't you get a job?"

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—If you could.

"The world would be better off without people like you."

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—I'm a stranger here myself.

"You can't just say it sucks without saying why."

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—If you get a dog, you have to expect that.

"You can't just say, 'It won't work.' What are your reasons? You have to back it up. You can't just play a devil's advocate here."

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—The front end of the horse and the rear end of the horse are two different people.

"I actually look good. I dress good, am clean-shaven, bathe, touch of cologne – yet 30 million women rejected me – over an 18- or 25-year period. That is how I see it. Thirty million is my rough guestimate of how many desirable single women there are." (–George Sodini, in his notebooks, before he opened fire in a Pennsylvania fitness center, hitting 12 women, 3 fatally, before turning a gun on himself)

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—Liking someone is liking their consciousness ... Liking someone is not giving them burdens ... Liking someone is putting their welfare on the same level as your own ... Liking someone is not having a severe hatred for their mother's living room furniture ... Liking someone is leaving them alone ... Liking someone is removing obstacles from their path to make their life easier ... You're better off acting like a pirate than acting like your mother and father ... On the inside say, "I am a total freak of nature." ... The more tempted you are to lose yourself in another person, the more you should put your attention back and place it in your own arms, legs and hands. You don't want to achieve psychic control of another person – You want to achieve psychic friendship with yourself, especially your sense of humor ... Around a boy or girl, avoid acting like your mother or father. You are better off acting like a courteous cutthroat pirate ... Girls aren't stupid. The best way to see them is as jealous narcissistic human beings ... They don't like you – They're just little narcissists ... The minute you pretend you're bad, they like you ... They can just turn in a minute ... "I'm never going to turn you into my mother – My father destroyed her!" ... Cruel development ... "Stop saying there's something wrong with you or I'll start to believe it!" ... "And what else is wrong with you?" ... Think about what you want to do – That's the sneaky way to do it ... If you want them to care, act like a Frigidaire ... Don't expect to get something you ask for ... Did you ever hear of someone else? ... This, too, will pass. She, too, will pass ... They will grow old and die ... A good life is the best revenge ... There'll be another ... With gold ribbons ... If a bunch of people came in here that was going from place to place looking for the best bad bar food, what what would you think? ... Misery loves company – Misery is like a magnet ... Would she make my life better? ... Would she make shoppers out of my dogs? ... If you get to the bottom of what's bothering you, you can begin to turn things around – a door, a mirror, a light, a way ... Come on in! Welcome, stranger! ... You know, something stupid ... "Come into my tent!" – I hope you're good! ... You don't have to get all serious about someone you make out with ... Remember to play after every storm ... Treat someone with kindness and respect, the way you would treat a stranger ... If you're alive, you've got something good going for you.

"A man needs a woman for confidence. He gets a boost on the job, career, with other men, and everywhere else when he knows inside he has someone to spend the night with and who is also a friend." (–George Sodini)

—Mixed it up!

Alien Corner Café: Where sometimes dreams do come true.

"I took off today, Monday, and tomorrow to practice my routine and make sure it is well polished ... I need to work out every detail, there is only one shot. Also I need to be completely immersed into something before I can be successful. I haven't had a drink since Friday at about 2:30. Total effort needed. Tomorrow is the big day." (–George Sodini)

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—There is a certain underworld, of which everyone is familiar ... Sleeping with one eye open ... In the overworld you can find the culture of aggressive people, who laugh and break all the rules, and the culture of suspicion, people standing aloof, watching to see who breaks the rules ... There is a middle world, what people call their emotions, populated by a Nazi and a limo driver, both sticking to you in their own way, one trying to lead you into the world of Perfection, the other watching your every move, studying you, steering you to the more expensive items ... You don't need the Nazi or the limo driver ... A Nazi clown, devoted to perfection, throwing cloaks of fantasy over everything, and a resentful limo driver, shadowing your every move ... They're idiots.

"Any of the 'Practice Papers' left on my coffee table I used or the notes in my gym bag can be published freely. I will not be embarrassed, because, well, I will be dead." (–George Sodini)

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—This may be the only idea he's ever had in his life, and he may not understand, some ideas aren't good.

"A man without a wife is but half a man." (–Benjamin Franklin)

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—From out of the frying pan into the fire, right? ... Maybe this is an approach to orgasm ... Maybe it will improve your position ... He's constantly tricking her into attacking him.

"You have to defend yourself if you're going to say that."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—You don't have to fight anything.

"It's hard to condemn a whole company based on an interview with one individual."

—Mixed it up!

—Near the Dead Sea.

"What did they think?"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Enough to make it worth our while, I guess.

"This is what I found – Don't take it personally."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

Me go to heaven, you fry! – That's what Christianity is ... Do you think Christians are better than other people?

"Did Jesus have a sense of humor?"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Does God have antlers?

"Jesus! – Take my head off!"

—AND WHY?

—It comes in handy, doesn't it?

"What happened to the Air Force Academy?"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—What a change!

"Bob, what did you do with the sun?"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Maybe there is a God.

"Talk is cheap."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—You'd be surprised.

"Words are cheap."

—Mixed it up!

—Say what?

"You had 100 billion chances and ways to have avoided today but you decided to spill my blood. You forced me into a corner and gave me only one option. The decision was yours. Now you have blood on your hands that will never wash off." [–Cho Seung-Hui "Ismail Ax"]

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—I wonder if someone lives just around the corner who likes you? ... You never got the chance to value yourself ... I think that's the way I learned to pay attention to myself ... I was totally put down and ignored ... What else can I do?

"Your Mercedes wasn't enough, you brats. Your golden necklaces weren't enough, you snobs. Your trust funds wasn't enough. Your vodka and cognac wasn't enough. All your debaucheries weren't enough. Those weren't enough to fulfill your hedonistic needs. You had everything."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—How would you know? – What are you sure of? – Maybe years ago – Maybe even earlier – The idea is not quantity, it's quality – Quality and subtlety of attention is important – You have to develop an inner barometer to tell what your inner weather is – The reason is probably separation anxiety – Anger, hurt and jealousy over something are secondary – Come back from the mountain.

"You have vandalized my heart, raped my soul and torched my conscience. You thought it was one pathetic boy's life you were extinguishing. Thanks to you, I die like Jesus Christ, to inspire generations of the weak and the defenseless people."

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—It's very hard to understand – It's not a lot – Your parents are enormous attention grabbers – Big shots! – Too many demands – People who put you down and fill you with hurt are stealing your attention – The way they act has nothing to do with the way they feel about you – They'll do anything to get attention – If you ever want to talk to someone, you can talk to me.

"You caused me to do this." [–Virginia Tech shooter]

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—It is a sad thing – It hurts a lot – You scum! – I hope you're not afraid of ghosts. [Feelings of worthlessness or helplessness, feeling unloved, or feeling lonely all come about because people cannot accept their separation anxiety – Instead of wanting their mother or father, they try to act like Napoleon – We're all like this – It's not yearning for careers – It's where you place your attention – The master claps twice! ... and a black box the size of a man is brought into the room – Value yourself, want yourself, find yourself, listen to yourself, look for yourself, cling to yourself, be yourself ... and the black box opens – Inside is a magic forest, a clearing, and little animals dart across ... Be better than other people, and the black box closes]

"Now I'll go out in style ... I'll be famous." [–Omaha mall shooter]

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Very vindictive, pouts, blames other people, thinks he's better than other people ... Now you all back off! ... Our fearless leader.

"Reach out to loners? But how do you talk to someone like dat? Leave sum advice."

—Mixed it up!

—Voice mail: "I'll really miss you when you're gone. Is this when the cheap rates go in? I'll be glad when you're dead, you rascal, you!" ... It's a light touch ... You shouldn't make fun of someone ... Don't mock your own! ... You're another! ... You feel hurt, too ... Everyone does ... All loneliness is separation anxiety, brought about by people who steal your attention, so the idea is to do or say less! ... The great secret of acting is, Be an Oil Painting ... Do what you're doing ... Do less! ... Many times! ... "Sense Location 1005," because if people say, "Location 5," people don't take it seriously ... If I could go back in a time machine, I could think of a lot of people I'd like to shoot – I'd be yet another great assassin, but don't have enough money for a good lawyer.

"Are you lonely?"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—My companions are like the stars – No matter which one you follow, you are on the right path.

"You're not special – Maybe you are just a lonely old man."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—You probably identify with the little animal ... You have to smash your way into the fourth dimension – I hope it's the right one! – A bird peeing on a spoon.

"I don't know what is going on here."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—That's really tough stuff.

"If you're not paranoid, you don't know what is going on around here."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—It's very frightening to have a mother and father.

"When are you going to sell it?" [Your life story]

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—It's like a labyrinth you go through to find out who the curator is.

"Richard must see that going on all night." [Two dogs attacking each other]

—AND WHY?

—They're more restrained.

"What was I going to say?"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—What did King Tut say?

"Hey, guys, where are we going?"

—AND WHY?

—I want my mummy!

"I always sense that Carson is on guard, wary." [Mike Wallace to Johnny Carson]

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—It doesn't stay.

"I forgot what I was going to say."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Just stick with it.

"We have attempting to figure out what is going on."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—In the mass culture, they don't want 'em to be too smart.

"Are you going somewhere?"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Maybe I'll put instructions.

["I went to Dartmouth."] "I applied there, but I didn't get in."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Did you know that you're riding with the Mozart of cab drivers?

"Don't tell me how to do my job."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—You don't want to be perfect.

"That's my job, man!"

—Mixed it up!

—You just never know.

"Put your head down in shame!"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—I look up! ... and money is falling through the skylight.

"You don't want to put me out of work, do you?"

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—It has nothing to do with reality.

"This is the American way."

—Mixed it up!

—Just take your time.

"I know what THAT means!"

—Mixed it up!

—That's what they all say!

"I know just what you're thinking."

—Mixed it up!

—The others don't.

"Nothing stays the same anymore."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—The same thing every day, right? – Jesus is so transitional – You have a rising star and a falling star at the same time.

"Nothing stays in one place."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—It's the memory.

"Don't say hello or anything – just ignore us."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—It must hurt.

"No good-morning, no nothing!"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Allah loves the lazy.

"It was a quiet summer night."

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—Well, I don't want to say anything.

"That's right, call the police. There isn't any proof. There's nothing that can be proved."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Another victim.

"It's like having to take a big shit, and there's nothing there."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—You don't have to carry a gun to kill someone.

"Hey, you said, 'shit!' – You learned a new word."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Three words can say a million things.

"You learn something new every day."

—AND WHY?

—That little bit.

"Modern art."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Down and dirty.

"Jesus loves you!"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—At least you don't suffer.

"Maybe you can get a higher-paying job."

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—I think your job is so severe.

"You don't like your job? Maybe you could get some other job."

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—You have leadership potential.

"Where there's a will, there's a way."

—Mixed it up!

—They migrate.

"You know, there's good and there's bad."

—Mixed it up!

—Further proof of my lineage.

"You're a little young to be retiring."

—Mixed it up!

—That's not so bad.

[Someone betraying they didn't hear a word you said – They're too busy formulating their own preconceptions]

—Mixed it up!

—What a lucky life!

"We want you to reflect on why you may have enemies."

—Mixed it up!

—Pick up the White Man's Burden: the hatred of those you help; the fear of the ones you guard.

"There's something you don't understand."

—Mixed it up!

—That's a lot.

"There's no such thing as a free lunch."

—Mixed it up!

—Bubble universes.

"There's nothing original."

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—Real sharp shells – What about the brain? – Everyone should have one – Learning to live within your means – Just one – I would try not to be too controlling – You know the story of seven lean years and seven fat years? – There'll be other times – You know, you can wait – So, I don't mind, I'm just reporting – All people really want to do is steal from other people.

"Sometimes, researchers say, one homeless person attacks another in turf battles or other disputes. But more often, they say, the assailants are outsiders: men or in most cases teenage boys who punch, kick, shoot or set afire people living on the streets, frequently killing them, simply for the sport of it, their victims all but invisible to society ... Some of the Las Vegas homeless resort to living in a maze of underground flood channels beneath the Strip. There they face flash floods, disease, black widows, and dank, pitch-dark conditions, but some tunnel dwellers say life there is better than being harassed and threatened by assailants and the police." (–Eric Lichtblau, "Attacks on Homeless Are Rising, Many Simply Motivated by Thrill," NYT, August 8, 2009)

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—"It's hard to believe that tunnels that can fill a foot per minute with floodwater could be safer than aboveground Vegas, but many homeless people think they are. No outsider is going to attack you down there in the dark." (–Matt O'Brien, a Las Vegas writer who runs an outreach group for the homeless) ... Unfelt or unconscious or invisible conditions, containing intelligence, perception, memory, instincts, aggression, enjoyment, resourcefulness, or all of the above, are also inside us, along with very real physical or emotional pain, somehow locked up in a memory, lock, stock and barrel, so as not to be felt ... One unconscious memory buried on top of another unconscious memory leads to impulsive teenage behavior ... Motivated by thrill ... Anything to avoid feeling bad.

"Hunt the Homeless: Kill one for fun. We're 87 percent sure it's legal." [Blurb In Maxim, spotlighting a coming "hobo convention" in Iowa] (–Eric Lichtblau, "Attacks on Homeless Are Rising, Many Simply Motivated by Thrill," NYT, August 8, 2009)

—Mystery! Diamond hooks.

—Skirts ahoy!

"Have you ever faked an orgasm?"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—If I did everything my mother told me to do, I'd be a human pretzel.

"Black people are constantly being stopped, searched, harassed, publicly humiliated, assaulted, arrested, and sometimes killed by police officers in this country for no good reason." (–Bob Herbert, "Anger Has Its Place," NYT, August 1, 2009)

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—It's scary, because you don't know what's going to happen next ... A sign of the times ... Both of them had it so hard! ... The Art Students' League ... Come on! I'm going to show you how the other half lives!

"Life in the United States is mind-bogglingly violent. But we should take particular notice of the staggering amount of violence brought down on the nation's women and girls each and every day for no other reason than who the are. They are attacked because they are female." (–Bob Herbert, "Women at Risk," NYT, August 8, 2009)

—Not bad enough. Unless..

It's like a reflex ... It just gets to you, doesn't it? ... Why not feel better? ... It's just rampant ... That kind of thing ... I guess you could reverse it! ... Behind the morning glories, behind the arbor, behind the falling fence.

"If you ever come back here again, I'll have you arrested! What you do is steal my joy! What you do is criminal!"

—Not bad enough. Unless..

—They keep pretending they're this and this and this, and then you see what they really are ... It might be a little psychotic ... And here's where things get really weird ... Because not only was I diminishing my own input under certain conditions, I was also reaching out, somehow, to diminish other people's input ... I was the wrong-way escalator guy! ... who always gets to the other side, through sheer determination, though in appearance, Mystery! Diamond hooks... It's not exactly like a lever, because what you do is turn and go into the anger ... or turn and go into the fear ... or turn and go into the pain and somehow permeate them, searching for the sentient creature inside, which is yourself, suddenly finding yourself a witness to a "white, or unfelt memory" ... Just as a footnote: Marijuana and all that stuff is totally blind to these things, because it makes even the gateways into the invisible, invisible ... You've got to have a gnawing suspicion, inside yourself, that's alive and kicking. It's funny, because as interested and compassionate toward yourself as you are to get in, what's buried inside you wants to get out, and from what I can tell, meets you way more than halfway ... I've heard people say that those who have arrived, or "woken up," or "become enlightened," which I haven't, don't have teeth. And it's true. If you can reach into a belly pouch and pull out a Kimber .45 semiautomatic pistol and simply shoot someone with deadly accuracy, whether you're looking at them in the outside physical world or not, or have subtle effects on people by running energy up your spine, who needs teeth?

"Why do this? ... To young girls? Just read below ... It seems many teenage girls have sex frequently. One 16 year old does it usually three times a day with her boyfriend, So, err, after a month of that, this little hoe has had more sex than ME in my LIFE, and I am 48. One more reason. Thanks for nada, bitches! Bye." (–George Sodini, in the month before he went on a shooting rampage, killing three women, injuring another nine, before suddenly stopping and shooting himself)

—Not bad enough. Unless..

Like in a fire door ... Not in the center, one on each side ... I'm a has-been, going in reverse! ... It's a universal closure ... Push, pull, left, right ... There's two ways you can do it ... We have to figure out if it's push or pull ... It's more a perception than an action ... Don't you know I need new shoes? ... The Last Testament of Dr. Moron ... I don't want people to know there's a door there.

"Hey! We're talking about your job here!"

—Mixed it up!

—Support groups are good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

REFLECTIONS

 
 
 
 
 

12-DEC-1999.

All You Do is Just Listen

No matter what anybody says,
wait a day.

Don't react.

Always look for a response,
not an analysis!

Stay away from interpretations.

A part of a person likes everything,
and that part of a person can help a person grow.


10-JUN-1999.

THE POTENTIAL for VIOLENCE

Certain men actually like fighting with other men, and in gay circles, this is known as "Rough Trade." Their passion for a woman is ignited by her real or imagined interest in some other man. In other words, these men are looking for the warmth and intimacy of a physical fight — Licking their wounds, boasting of their desire to "get" someone, with an irrational or violent fixation on a particular person.

Their explosive behavior towards men or women is matched perfectly by their vehement denial of anything homosexual.

When you encounter such a man, it is characterized by privacy. That is, they touch you or knock you around in sort of flirtatious way, often in a public setting such as a restaurant or bar. Everything is arranged with a "cover," so as to seem "accidental" or "unintentional," however nothing could be further from the truth. You should always use a third person or an institution to defend yourself from such a person. That is to say, you should never talk directly to the attacker. Get away from such a person. They are stalkers.

Go to the manager of the restaurant or bar, or to the police, and in a level voice, say you would like an escort to your car or taxi because one of their patrons has hit you, harassed you, or "hit on you" at least twice.

If you have a cell phone, use it in a very public setting to call the police —That's what the police are for. You should use them to defend you, and if a police officer says it's nothing, that the attacker's "a good old guy," ask for the officer's name and serial number. Tell the police officer that if that person hits you, you're going to sue.

Consciously direct all of your fear and anger towards the manager or towards the police officer. That is, DO NOT TALK TO THE ATTACKER. If you are going to raise your voice, do so to the third party. Say you're never going to come to their restaurant or bar again if they allow people to harass you. Treat it as if it's a conspiracy (of silence). Do not leave the establishment alone, no matter how exhilarated, angry or frightened you feel. And don't pay your bill.

If you are alone with a violently abusive person, they will almost always address you in an intimate way, saying diabolical or insane things like, "There's nothing that can be proved," or "It was a quiet summer night." Stay away from them. Circle around cars, stop traffic, and get help.

A single encounter with an abusive stalker often has a surrealistic quality, which when later described or related to a third person, leads them not to believe you. They question you rhetorically, with resentment, and without much warmth. You get the idea you've just been through hell, and the hell doesn't stop.

Which is how Jews and colored people felt.

It can be drastic. In Nazi Germany of the 'thirties and 'forties, "even though Germany is a very respectable place, understanding the vast scope of denial is like being a wise person in the midst of 'normality,' who clearly recognizes the signs of danger, and who abandons everything to get away."

And finally, —The best revenge is a good life.


30-JUL-2014.

 

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As follows

CODE WORDS: 30, 49ers, advocate, afire, aggravate, American, arrested, assailants, assaulted, attacked, basketball, bathe, beneath, bitches, black widows, boost, caused, channels, cheap, clean-shaven, cockfarmer, cologne, condemn, conditions, construction, conversations, criminal, damned, dank, dat, debaucheries, desirable, detail, dislike, disputes, dwellers, «élitism», [evaluation], faggots, female, fighting, flap, flood, floods, forced, [formulating], freely, frequently, going, guess, guestimate, gym, harassed, hoe, homeless, host, humiliated, hunt, ignore, immersed, interview, invisible, Jesus, job, journalistic, learn, learned, lonely, loners, man-purse, mark, maze, meaning, mind-bogglingly, mind reading, miss, modern, monkey, moves, nada, needed, nominee, nothing, occasion, officers, orgasm, pitch-dark, polished, postman, professor, put, quizzical, reach, reasons, reflect, retiring, returning, routine, scary, [scream], searched, smelly, society, sometimes, spite, staggering, stinky, style, sum, summer, there's, thirty, tunnel, turf, twerp, underground, unfortunately, victims, violence, wary, what, without

 

LVII
Norma
"Carpenter's square"

—AND WHY?