"Are you always this awkward around girls?"

—How will anyone know it's me if I wear a mask?

"You smell go-ood!" [Two guys carrying on in front of their dates]

—That's obvious.

"Don't smell it." [The seat cushion]

—Who does?

"What is that smell?"

—One ugly thing after another.

"Uggh!" [Catching a whiff of a surprising body odor]

—It's really shocking how many people are mean and sadistic. [See, "From Someone Who Smells."]

"Yuck!" [Catching a whiff of a psychological secret]

—That part of you is alive.

"pleaz don't be mad at me but I can't resist...nice ju....no I better not. damnit! Altho' those are really pretty." ["Nice jugs!"] :: WildCard-22

—I hope you don't let it go to your head.

"He's a creep."

—No speed limits.

"I like being a guest in my own house." :: WildCard-9

—You are so cute that everyone just wants to give you a kiss.

"It's remarkable that something like that [Google] can have such an influence on my life and it's only been around fourteen years." :: WildCard-21

—The cell phone age is even worse.

"Why are you so desperate?"

—I see the entire picture.

"Desperate."

—I'm not trying to win a beauty contest, you know?

"Do I look familiar to you?"

—You're not just saying that.

"You look familiar to me."

—I know we have good food, but you can't move in!

"I'm so glad to see you!"

—Just like old times.

"Long time, no see."

—I don't get around much – I like it here or at home.

"Nice to see you."

—It seems limited.

"Why didn't go call me? Why didn't you tell me we were staying in the same hotel?"

—The bellhop told me he let you know I was here.

"Where did you sneak in?"

—I don't remember.

"There's a hotel for you." [In a sleazy part of town]

—You don't know life at its worst.

"Is that where you hang out after work?"

—It's another slice of life.

"Are you trying to gyp him?"

—Boy, did you miss an opportunity.

"What are they gonna do?"

—One thing or another.

"Are they allowed to do that?"

—It's not going to kill us.

"How do you like that? Cleveland is in Ohio."

—It just so happens.

"Like watching the Lawrence Welk Show."

—Blowing bubbles.

"You're a broken record."

—I hope it isn't a big hit!

"How did you get to be such a creep?"

—Not looking at a painting critically – Looking at a painting to find one thing you didn't know.

"How did you get to be so infuriating?"

—People had a lot of fun in the old days.

"How did you get into all of this?"

—Milk and cookies every night.

"Come on inside – I'll show you all my secrets."

—M is for milk, C is for chocolate.

"Follow that guy in a black hooded sweatshirt and make sure he doesn't get in a cab and drive it out of here."

—Another genius of our time.

"Nobody understands themselves."

—Well, let's leave it there.

"It makes me feel horrible."

—Maybe you'll have sandboxes all over your yard – Show me in the sandbox how you feel – Well, isn't it time you didn't believe it?

"It's a shitty job, but somebody's got to do it."

—It's not a game for children.

"Where did you get that shirt?"

—Who can say?

"You could have asked people."

—Beyond comprehension.

"I asked you once."

—If you think we muck around like this all day, you're right!

["They don't cheat at places like Harvard and Yale – They have an honor code." "I know they cheated at Yale, because when I went to college, there were three hundred people in a class – they didn't even know who you were." "Yeah, and at my college, I used to write papers for other people."] "See that, Richard?"

—Why didn't I know that?

"Don't you read the newspapers?"

—That's not a crime, you know.

"You don't have copy and paste?"

—That's the coming thing – I might as well learn that.

"Do you ever watch TV?"

—How much can you remember?

"If you're wearing those sandals to the club, I'm not going."

—Mind of Buddha: wandering mind – From where does wandering arise?

[Someone spitting on your shirt]

—Smart! – Go through the wind – As everyone knows, you just leave them alone and they ruin themselves.

"You look retarded."

—Don't talk to me – My friends will laugh at me.

"You're like a hockey puck that's kind of slow."

—It makes you feel you've been pissing on the wrong tree.

"Look at all those friends sitting around with you – I wonder why."

—Ever popular.

"Is that your one and only friend?"

—It's the rhythm section.

"Cool taxi psychobabble that only a true cab driver can digest. Awesome! Dredge on, dude ...."

—They rent themselves out as frogs, at parties.

"I think you are the only person who defines who you are."

—That means all the gold is ours!

"You picked up a new trick – telling the truth."

—You don't want it to look real, because it isn't real.

"Too bad, I would have loved to see you cry."

—You have no idea how cheesy things are.

"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco. Mark Twain." [Their idea of carrying on a conversation is to swamp you with one important-sounding quotation after another, leaving you with little more than a hollow, empty feeling, leading you to believe you can somehow respond in a suitably clever way to people long dead, and failing to find any simple, sincere or honest resonance inside yourself, you struggle to pony up with phony (or simply mute) acknowledgment of their passable theatrics as you stifle the urge to kill them]

—Where are they now?

«Thoughts of suicide»

—There's nothing that repeats itself – Suicide is not an option here – You know what's in your best interest ... Bliss = mirror ... Hard work = door ... Sexual energy = lamp ... Simple human = way ... Focused energy goes up your spine into your vision, and goes into the center of your chest ... Always keep a little for yourself ... And not in filigreed religious way ... (1.) Piss. (2.) Shit. (3.) Get rid of negative energy ... Just burn some off ... Get out anger! ... (4.) Living off mother's milk ... Everyone's a blood sucker ... It feeds on people's deepest wishes ... Everyone has a little cannibal inside them ... Whatever anyone's afraid of is inside them ... Only smokers like it ... Everyone's hungry ... I don't even try to figure it out ... (5.) Continue feeling bad ... You're supposed to feel bad and realize everyone does ... Feel bad and you'll get over it and realize how silly it is ... Just go through it and you'll see you feel better ... Stick with it and you'll begin to understand what you're sensing ... (6.) That's what you're like ... The other is what was done to you.

"It makes you want to move to Des Moines, doesn't it?"

—I am the master of my fate – I am the captain of my soul.

"What's the company? How much do they pay you?"

—Every time it rains, it rains pennies from heaven – Every time it rains, it rains one-hundred-dollar bills from heaven!

"How much do they pay you a month for one of those?"

—I'll have my money guy call your money guy – Who's your accountant?

"How are sales these days?"

—Time will tell.

"You live in San Francisco and you've never seen people standing outside a bar smoking pot?"

—Don't get heartbroken.