Life on a Lily Pad among the Severely Wounded

For SARCASM:    It's ridiculous ... Soul searching ... Anything missing? ... It's overwhelming.

When I first arrived on the lily pad, as a young child, I was, of course, as anyone would be, overwhelmed by these circumstances. On the one hand, the views were breathtaking, with Nature all around, and on the other hand, all the grown, human creatures had a curious stiffness about them, as if they were pretending to be ... strong.

Right off the bat one of these wounded creatures asked me, "Where do you live?" and of course I responded, "Inside myself!" which caused us both to look at each other in some astonishment, if not abject horror. Then another immediately piled on, "Where do you live, sweetheart?" (as if she were asking, "Where's the nearest bar?") When I gazed through the walls of the nearby buildings, at shelves of tekilla and brrrbon — and hardly any books — all I could think was, "Never far." and "It's mutual," which I found myself verbalizing among them, quickly adding, "I always forget something!"

Since they were all beginning to look at me with some wonder, and growing suspicion, I hastily added, "I don't want to remember, do you know what I mean?" which caused a few of them to breathe a sigh of relief. Empathy. I always forget. Empathy! I held my breath.

I used to be called a tadpole, then a pollywog, and now I'm a frog? I looked at my self. I'm a frog, all right. Tentatively, I hopped onto another lily pad, surprised at my ... legs! Hey, let's call this taxi1010 ... with legs! I looked at the frog next to me, who had just crawled up onto the lily pad, here beside me, and asked myself, —How do you think she'll look in lipstick? Good grief! My mind is changing, too! I don't know what's coming over me.

She said something sarcastically, and I mulled over possible responses. Should I say, (1.) "It's ridiculous." (2.) "Soul searching." (3.) "Anything missing?" or (4.) "It's overwhelming." One of those responses always works with sarcasm.

"I always pop up next to a winner!" she repeated, with a twist, magically transforming herself into a martini, and I verbalized, "It's overwhelming." I guess we're getting off on the right ... foot! She popped into the air and vanished.

I looked around and realized these ... remarkably stiff creatures, squatting for the most part, sometimes stretching into a semblance of graceful calesthenticism, were undergoing remarkable pain! And they didn't even seem to know it. —It's stupid! I thought ... accidentally verbalizing it.

All hell broke loose. "Are you calling me stupid?" one of the wounded creatures lashed out, and in chorus, others cried out in unison, "Were you trying to make me feel stupid?" and "I'm stupid?" and "We're stupid?" "Stu-pid!" "Stu-pid!" "Stu-pid!" Crap! Frogs make a racket!

"How's that?" I asked. The lily pad became eerily silent, all the wounded creatures acting as if, in all their born days, they'd never heard ... such easy words. I popped into the air and found myself flying.



Life on a Lily Pad Responses
to Sarcasm

Check it out for yourself. For every sarcastic comment on the left, notice how you can easily respond with one of the Verbal Tools on the right.


"You're a real lady killer, Phil." [Sarcastically]


"That's attractive." [Sarcastically]


"Warren Buffett doesn't know anything about stimulating the economy." [Sarcastically]


"Having a nice day?" [Sarcastically]


"All right, man ... Good luck." [Sarcastically]


"Oh, yeah, very helpful." [Sarcastically]


"Okay, then ... You-all have a good time!" [Sarcastically]


"Thank you, it will be nice having you as a neighbor." [Sarcastically]


"Thanks." [Sarcastically]


"It's all about you." [Sarcastically]


"Don't you know how much I love you?" [Sarcastically]


"Yummy." [Sarcastically]


"Because of all the Blacks voting in Vermont." [Sarcastically]






—It's ridiculous.














—Beautiful, huh?







—It's overwhelming.