The sequence, All along. ... Pretty much. ... Just about. ... Why bother? ... helps when you're first meeting someone. Think of it as digging for buried treasure.

"How's school? Been keeping up?" "All along."

"Like your classes?" "Pretty much."

"Cuts into your social life, huh?" "Just about."

"What social life, right?" "Why bother?"

"All along" catches three sarcastic hits as easily as pop flies into center field:

(1.) "Working hard?" "All along."

(2.) "Big deal." "All along."

(3.) "Get real." "All along."

"Pretty much" has a particularly fiendish use: If someone uses the word "sorry" sarcastically, you can often turn the tables on them by saying, "Pretty much." For instance,

"I used a dirty word! Sorry, Linda." "Pretty much."

"Oh, I ruined your dinner – So sorry!" "Pretty much."

While not universally true, it is useful to see many verbal interactions as driven by powerful formative emotions: Fear, Hurt, Anger and Hatred. People are drawn like magnets into (1.) compliance & denial, (2.) phoniness or insincerity, (3.) criticism & argument, and (4.) ignoring or sarcasm as cover-ups for these infant emotions.

EMOTION

TOOL

TOOL

COVER-UP

FURTHER RESOURCES

FEAR

That's it.

All along.

(compliance,
denial)

Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense

HURT

Big time!

Pretty much.

(phoniness,
insincerity)

Moxie's Disease

ANGER

Not quite.

Just about.

(criticism,
argument)

Bully Online

HATRED

Real old-
fashioned.

Why bother?

(ignoring,
sarcasm)

No Nonsense Self Defense

At its extreme, people completely identify with the cover-ups and deny the underlying emotions exist. However, then those emotions pop out in ways they don't expect! For instance, traffic accidents, psychosomatic diseases, torture and war.

HINT

CUE

TOOL

CLINIC

TOPIC

Life is not a test.

deal, real, working

All along.

stargate61

complaining, denying it

You have to be your own friend.

sorry, wonderful

Pretty much.

stargate38

bait & switch

The bad people always do better.

doing, great

Just about.

stargate14

sneers and jeers

You're not the only one.

desire, medication, or

Why bother?

stargate03

ulterior motives

5th Element

—It's fantastic.

In Girl From the North Country Bob Dylan sings, "if you're traveling in the north country fair, Where the winds hit heavy on the borderline, Please say hello to one who lives there, She once was a true love of mine." ... Nobody minds.

And in If Ever You're in My Arms Again Peabo Bryson sings, "If ever you're in my arms again, This time I'll love you much better, If ever you're in my arms again, This time I'll hold you forever, This time will never end, never end." ... Nobody minds.

—Remember that.