Sarcasm

Insults

Comebacks

"Ooo – Nicely coordinated outfit." [Sarcastically]

—Anything missing?
—What a life of pain you lead.

"You do well when you dress in the dark."

—Loafing around!
—That's good to know – I think I'll fall down.

"Big deal."

—All along.
—There's more than you think, right?

"Can we pet your dog?" [Sarcastically, to impress a girl]

—Missed out.
—We don't mind.

"It's such a nice day." [Sarcastically]

—Screwy, huh?
—It still is.

"What are friends for?" [Sarcastically]

—The alliance.
—I didn't get anything.

"Do you have enough there?" [Sarcastically]

—And more!
—I'm not going to waste my time thinking it's no good.

"THANK YOU ... YOU ARE VERY KIND." [Sarcastically, from a police officer]

—We'll wait.
—It never hurts to be held back a year.

"Some exciting life you've got there."

—What's missing?
—Why would someone hate what they're good at?

[Start at
the top]

"It smells like a fish."

—The reverse!
—I think it's different.

"Then it smells like peaches and cream."

—The reverse!
—There's also a negative side.

"Are we having fun yet?"

—Nothing special.
—You can't miss.

"That's adequate."

—Thank goodness!
—Let us be nice to people while they are alive.

"Interesting."

—Many things!
—How could it hurt?

"Nice guy!" [Sarcastically]

—It's shocking.
—More than you would imagine.

See also,
BrainPower

"That was smart." [Sarcastically]

—What else?
—Not all the time.

"You are so smart!"

—What else?
—Now you have proof.

"Take your time!"

—TOO BAD!
—Double check!

[Start at
the top]

"No problem."

—It's ridiculous.
—Are you in this spot forever?

"May you live in interesting times."

—Once again!
—Singing while Rome burns.

"Thanks for the help." [Sarcastically]

—For nothing!
—I'll live.

"Thanks for nothing!"

—I'll live.
—I won't worry.

"Good luck, buddy boy!"

—I'll live.
—Fla-min-go! ... Like a flame in the sk-y-y ... Flying o-ver the is-land ... To my lover nearby.

"Thanks — I really appreciate that."

—All set.
—Take a bow.

"Thank you for being on time."

—No sweat.
—It is messy.

"Maybe we could live without the wisecracks."

—No sweat.
—It's much better to have something pleasant.

[Start at
the top]

"Was that a sarcastic remark?"

—BOW WOW.
—Start to believe it!

"Thanks for the advice."

—Or whatever.
—You're welcome!

"Merry Christmas!" [Insincerely]

—Many more!
—Take heart!

"You're funny!"

—Total waste.
—I want to see what's underneath everything.

"Very funny. Very, very funny."

—Many more!
—Under the circumstances, that one thing was very funny.

"Drop dead."

—Many more!
—Yeah, things like that.

"What a steep road this is!" [Sarcastically]

—It's ridiculous.
—Start at the top.

"Have a nice day." [Sarcastically, having pointed out a nasty detail in the fine print]

—Once again!
—You can see why people need lawyers.

[Start at
the top]

"This guy is great!" [Disparagingly]

—Clean slate!
—Don't ever do anything halfway.

"You're a wonderful man."

—Saved again!
—Even worse!

(1.) Descriptive
Sarcasm

(2.) Proscriptive
Sarcasm

(3.) Spin Sarcasm

(4.) Transcendental
Sarcasm