taxi1010.com WineCellar |
Copyright © 1999-2014 Richard Ames Hart |
Whenever I read a book about difficult people, I come away with the idea I still don't know what to do. "Keep your own sense of self-confidence," one writer says, "and don't allow yourself to be verbally abused." ... Yes, but how? ... just as someone marches through the room crying out, "Don't you people have anything better to do?" Well, I decided to turn everything upside down. Why not start with particular insults, especially insults everyone has heard before, and do research on each and every one to find the cure? On schedule. That includes everything! So on this website, you start with an insult [SunPorch], identify a codeword [Kitchen], look for two-word "Wings" [Part 9, below], and end up with a response [Nursery]. Insult [SunPorch] => Codeword [Kitchen] => "Wings" [Part 9] => Response [Nursery] The "Wings" are the most important part of this process, and are listed in eighty-eight groups of four [Rows A. through V.] in Part 9, below. |
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As you can see, it's a big table. It has 88 * 4 = 352 two-word "Wings." That's a lot! Remember how long it took to learn "Please," "Thank you," "You're welcome," and "I'm sorry" ? That's just four! |
You have to know a lot of things when you travel. In airline training seminars, they say, "Don't respond to rude or unruly people with your emotions." (1.) Maybe it pays to be ignorant. There might be something in it. It's cultural. You can't start too young. These really aren't rules It's sort of like guidelines. All kinds of minds. (2.) The educated people have good manners -- That's how they tell if someone's smart or dumb. (Every time I feel I'm missing something from my life, I should try to be attached to my life. What you're looking for is inside you. It's you.) The Daniels' method: This is the bad side; this is the good side. (3.) The "bad" people are honest, like cats -- They just attack you. (There's nothing worse for a fisherman than to have a fish on the hook that's dead. Play dead.) (4.) The "good" people are even worse. They cannot stand creativity, like rats -- They don't want to destroy you. They want you to be like them, which is destroyed! Braying in bands of pretension, they do things like accept you for publication, then delete you from the Table of Contents. (Mom, reel me in! Why? I'm as dirty as you are. And so are you?) They seem to be at a loss for words, and it can escalate to other things. Just make sure you know which shoe the foot is on. Let things develop. |
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Part 9: Wings: |
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By no means, sir! By |
Many ways! |
Sight unseen. |
Trust me! I work nights. |
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To the contrary. It's no |
Yours? Spoken for? |
Hands off! No hard |
Wild, huh? |
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Apparently not. |
With it! Stashed |
Pretty much. Doesn't |
You have to put 12 |
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The one behind you. |
Not the least. |
Right! Absolutely. |
What more? |
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Until now! |
Afraid not. |
Or vice versa. |
WORK HARDER! |
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Up through the cracks. |
That's you! Alongside |
If you will. On short |
Night sky! |
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Probably Something. |
Come back to you. |
Not today. |
Bad timing. Mañana. |
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What's next? |
It's perfect! |
All set. I'm golden. |
Very nice. |
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So WHAT? |
Don't worry. Squeeze |
Not much. ROAD KILL! |
Under one. |
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Stick around! |
Before what? |
Pretty intense. Make a |
All right. I will. |
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Who knows? A |
No doubt. |
Switched! The usual |
Nothing special. |
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What way? Are you |
Go further. The sun |
That's it. Makes you |
Mostly that. |
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The Fish Whisperer. |
As fast as that. Dark |
Exceptional. Sparingly. |
A joke! |
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Good advice. |
Thank you! An honor. |
Immensely popular. I'm |
It comes and it goes. |
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Thank goodness! |
All backward. Don't do |
War souvenirs! |
At least. Double |
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Man! Expensive! |
Blunt! Moving on. |
Nothing much. |
Exactly. What else? |
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The freezer! |
Shift change! One step |
Don't panic! |
Knock it off! Maybe my |
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Just don't! |
Avoid entanglements. |
Empty crackerjack box |
How's that? Isn't |
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BELIEVE me. |
All kinds. Differentially. |
Nothing to land me in |
Well, okay! Bananas. |
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I don't see any |
Hey! OUCH. |
Not bad enough. |
Likewise. Not the best. |
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You try. Whose fault is |
I'm sorry. Roll your |
Not yet. Be simple. |
Yeah, sure. |
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You'd think. It's very |
Someone must. |
The edge! |
Harsh. Indeed. |
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Preparation is everything. There's an effective way to learn how to use these "Wings." You can prepare yourself in advance for a wide variety of different situations. (Not to mention Moxie's Disease!) |
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Part 10: A Wolf's Tale in the Sky. |
A sarcastic "Thank you" can lead a person into trouble. "You're welcome" doesn't really work. However, "NO TROUBLE!" spoken with an edge, works perfectly. The beautiful aspect of this second response is its adaptability to many shades of meaning, depending upon the physical situation in which you find yourself, the emotions expressed on your face, and your tone of voice. It sort of levels the playing field. They say, "Thank you." You say, "NO TROUBLE!" However, you can say lots of other things, including "Everything's easy," "I'll live," "Home free!" and the ever-popular, "You're welcome." The entire purpose of the bins up above is to provide a repository of responses for any subtle knot or sticky wicket you can get into. It's sort of like a wolf's tale in the sky. You can use your imagination. |
Part 11: A Seal with a Human Face. |
This is a website of concrete possibilities, with specific responses and powerful follow-ups. Remember that every particular thing is offensive to someone, so around your place of work, always act real serious and say things like, "Absolutely!" "NO TROUBLE!" "It's insane," and "Always what you least expect." Try to act like the rest of the Robo-Persons, like you're in summer camp or second grade. It's better to be safe than sorry You're better off acting like Snow White. And if you're around truly dangerous people, that is, people who can't control themselves and who go around stabbing people and beating people up, act really dumb and say things like, "Who knows? A pioneer," "Probably," "Something unusual," and "Always what you least expect." Let sleeping dogs lie You're better off acting like Mickey Mouse. Otherwise, if you're like most people, you may be afraid to say something aggressive because you're afraid you'll lose control or say something stupid. It's very dangerous to hold things in. Most of the responses you find here are not stupid, even if you say them at inappropriate times. For instance, "Real old-fashioned," "Just normal," "It's uncanny," and "It's official! Secret finger." They provide a tangible outlet, in today's world, for people who might otherwise go postal. If you don't do it on purpose, you don't know what's going to come out. If yoo di ut on purpose, you do know. You're better off acting like a seal. |
Part 12: Things Change. |
People frightened to death of seeing themselves, devote almost all their energy to "posturing." When people posture, they unconsciously alter other people's moods. In a way they are saying, "I feel hurt, angry and confused, so I want to make other people feel hurt, angry and confused." Some gift! If you don't accept such a gift, who does it go to? The aim of Non-escalating Verbal Self-Defence is to remember what we all have in common at the deepest level. Human beings need warmth, rest, nourishment and work in the outside physical world, and the perception we have smooth-running engines and large horizons in the inner world of dreams and ideas. This is a website of warm, funny, and sensible responses to any worn-out or habitual sentence a person can utter. If the level of discourse some people devote to posturing were a game of chess, a computer programmed from taxi1010.com would be quite a champion. I like to start from a particular point of view. In the late afternoon I sometimes stand on a promontory in Berkeley's Aquatic Park while my dogs roll around in the grass nearby. I count senses. Breathing from my belly, like an infant, I sense the cool breeze on my cheeks. I listen to the rustle of breezes in the trees, and reaching out, to the soft roar of traffic on the freeway. Suddenly I hear the birds. Then I feel the gravity of the planet pulling me down, and my body in a slight sway, holding my balance. How many senses so far? I feel a sense of community with Nature around me, and harmony within. I smell the pond, ever so slightly, and inside, the parched dryness of my throat I'm dying of thirst! I see the clouds on the far horizon to the North, and turning, see the weather to the West and to the South. I sense the time and humidity in the moon of the moment. Then a light ripple of emotion racing across my face. The sparkle of the day! You can almost taste it in beckoning spoonfuls: it's a bowl of pear-merlot gelato. Then I shift, drowsily sensing the droll irony of dreams deep inside. I can continue in this way for quite some time, breathing and counting senses. I remember when, earlier in the day, a complete stranger had said, "When's the sun going to come out?" I had memorized the question and now look it up in Part 9, up above. I'm looking for an answer. Every cell has a potential response, perhaps, "It's official! Secret finger." in Row M, ("Masking") or "Wild, huh?" in Row B. ("Blackmail") Finally I get to, "Before long!" in Row H, ("Harassment") and realize on a very deep level it's the kind of thing a mother would say to a little boy. "When are we going home?" the little boy asks, and his mother responds, "Before long!" It's a heartfelt response and stays with you forever. Probably the man who asked, "When's the sun going to come out?" had forgotten such an experience or had never had one. By saying, "Before long!" I am taking him in a direction he might not have expected, and offering him a gift very difficult to refuse. Any more analysis misses the point. Ø ¥ |
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